Author’s Note: This Is A Response Of Sorts To An Earlier Article, “4 Things Women Say That They Don’t Mean.”
I’m not gonna lie–guys sometimes don’t tell the truth. This is because as we all know, the truth is terrifying and doesn’t necessarily care about hurt feelings. The truth also makes human interaction less interesting, and prevents articles like this one from becoming a thing. So in so many words, here are some things guys say that you might want to take with a few grains of gastronomical flavor enhancers:
1. “I Just Gotta Figure Things Out”
Figuring things out = him delaying the inevitable blow that is you guys no longer being a thing. He says this because he (a. cares about you to some degree, and thinks this might be the least painful method of eventual breakup, or (b. he’s simply terrified of having to be in the same room as you when your world comes crashing down.
He is also a dick, because figuring things about probably involves smoking weed and watching The Departed. Consider this him giving his two week notice.
2. “No, It’s Fine”
It’s not fine, but it’s also not worth getting into an argument at the moment. So in a weird, warped way, it is fine.
3. “I’m Not Sure, I MIght Have (Insert Vague Commitment) That Day. Why?”
Whatever you just/are about to suggest doing, he has taken appropriate measures to ensure he has his bases covered.
It’s very natural for a guy to do this, and there’s probably something wrong if he doesn’t ever “maybe have a softball thing” that night–if this sort of conflict never arises it might mean has no social life/interests outside of you, something that articles on the internet generally think is very bad. Also, as the person dating him, you are obligated to coax him into going ice skating, which is something he might be irrationally opposed to out of uncertainty and fear. So yea, he might have a drinks thing with the kids a year younger than him in his fraternity.
4. “I Love You, Too”
I’m gonna go out on a Limb Jong Un and say that when anyone on either side of the relationship drops the L Bomb for the first time, there is at least a 50% chance that the other side can’t reciprocate the feeling. Saying I love you, too–and never being the person to initiate the Ultimate Declaration–is basically a biding time tactic…the “I love you too”-er may very well end up coming around, or they may simply be stretching out the convenient arrangement that is your relationship for as long as humanly possible.
Either way, nobody loves you too unless they already love you. Feel free to quote that shit.