Let them tell it and men are the most likely to tell a lie, cheat or steal. That’s how she’d like you to think about yourself as a man. They say, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn’t exist.” The truth is men lie, women lie, we both lie and that’s just the way it is. If you find me a woman who has never told a lie before in her life whether harmless or not, I’d like to meet the unicorn so I can kill it. Since you can’t find one, I won’t be killing any women or unicorns. Women lie differently than men. They omit the truth, they misguide the truth, and they are always convinced that they are taking into consideration everyone else but herself when they lie. The truth is, nobody lies for someone else… except men. That’s what I want to talk about today. Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that there are things that men just can’t say to women. It may be the truth, but he’d be best to keep it to himself. For some strange reason, women haven’t reached the same conviction. They feel it’s perfectly okay to spew lies or stretches of the truth. With that said, I thought I’d help out the fellas by giving you a short list of things women say that they don’t mean. In other words, don’t believe that shit.

1. What do you think about [insert anything here]?

She might ask you this question and truly believe on the inside that she’s genuinely interested in your answer. This is a trick, this is only a trick. What she means to say is, “Confirm that you feel the same way I feel about this.” I ain’t got a clue why women continue to ask men questions like this. They probably want to give the man a chance to speak his opinion before they tell him their own. In reality, this is only a trick that’s best avoided by saying either “I’ve never really thought about it” or making a real good assumption at what you think her answer will be and making that yours.

2. Where is this going? Or, what are we?

I don’t know why women even ask this question because I’m not sure that I’ve ever known too many men who answer the question honestly. It’s one of those questions that falls into the category of “if you needed to know, you wouldn’t have to ask” but women ask anyway. But do they really want an honest answer? Hell no. The reason why men pause for so long before answering this question is not because they need to think about the answer, it’s because they know the answer but they know she don’t want to hear it.

3. How do you think I look?

Translation: How do you think I think I look? If you think back to how many times you’ve heard this question and how many times you’ve ever told the truth it makes you wonder if the woman actually wants to know the answer. No woman wants to hear, “Yeah that style looks good on Beyonce, but not on you” or “I think you could stand to lose a few pounds, maybe ten.” They tell you they WANT to hear the answer, they’re lying through their teeth harder than the way your mother used to scold you in church on Sunday.

4. I’ll only do that for my husband.

Don’t buy it… don’t you buy it. A lot of women claim to have this list of stuff that they’ll only do for their husband. Take for example article, that’s a good example of how the nature of women is the more they respect a man, the more they tone it down. There is simply no evidence that something that is not happening right now will happen once they’re on the other side of a marriage license. That old saying, “It’s better to have one in hand, than two in the bush” is true. For those who don’t know what that means or haven’t internalized it, simply put, you have what you have now, what you might get later is not promised.

That’s just a short list of statements or questions that women make that are better off referred to as lies. They may say it but they don’t mean it. They either don’t want the answer to the question or they don’t even believe themselves when they say it. I’m sure there’s tons of other things that women say that you can categorize as a straight lie but there’s these things called word counts.

Do me a favor, what are some questions or statements that women make that you can go ahead and take with a grain of salt?