Holly Riordan

Those heels make your legs look even hotter.

I have no idea how you feel about me, because we aren’t capable of having a serious conversation. It’s always flirty and playful and downright meaningless.

My underwear is soaking wet now. I’m going to have to take them off soon.

You can’t hold a conversation with him. Your intelligence is too high and his maturity level is too low.

I was digging under the bed, searching for pictures of my deceased parents during my last visit to my childhood home before it got sold, when I found it. A diary covered with neon Lisa Frank stickers of unicorns and ice cream cones. A little yellow lock dangled from the edge, securing the pages together, but it was flimsy. I could snap it right open. And I did.

Who’s most likely to forget their vows on our wedding day?

The right person for you will always love you, no matter how many sleepless nights and panic attacks you have.

Aries: You should stay away from clingy boys. The ones who want to hang out on a daily basis and expect you to text them back five minutes after they send you a message.

Even when he’s drunk, he knows how to control himself. He never does anything reckless that he ends up regretting in the morning.

“She thought she was underwater so she started to hold her breath and wouldn’t wake up.”

“I strongly believe that I was fighting for my soul that night and dark forces were trying to possess me.”

How many times have I gotten my heart broken?

Capricorn: You’re Hannibal Lecter from The Silence Of The Lambs. You’re highly intelligent and have a sick, twisted mind.

She only replies with an emoji. If she sends you a single heart after you say, “I love you,” then she’s not happy. At all.

Liking every single post he makes on Facebook and Instagram. It’ll make you seem like a stalker. Or like you’re marking your territory. Either way, it’s not a good look for you.

Aries: You’d end up murdering a complete stranger during a fit of road rage.

“Being heavy. Most of the time, girls who consider themselves heavy aren’t even heavy, anyway. It’s insane. They think they have to a size zero in order to be attractive. It’s not like that. “

I trust you. I don’t have any reason to snoop through your phone or wonder if you’re secretly cheating. I don’t have any reason to accuse you of not caring about me or not loving me.