1. He doesn’t text you on your birthday. He only leaves a generic message on your Facebook wall.
2. He sends you more winky faces than heart emojis.
3. You receive group texts from him, but never one-on-one texts.
4. You’re the one keeping the conversation going. If you run out of topics to discuss, the conversation dies.
5. He never texts you random comments and questions. He only texts you when he needs a ride or to copy your notes from class.
6. He talks about how badly he wants to see you, but never actually makes any plans to see you.
7. He always steers the conversation in a sexual direction.
8. His messages are littered with spelling errors.
9. He responds with “lol.”
10. He has the time to post on social media, but he hasn’t made the time to text you back.
11. “What’s up” is the only question he asks you. He never asks how work is going or how you’re feeling.
12. The conversation never lasts for more than four or five texts.
13. And the conversation follows the same pattern every time. So you know what he’s going to type before he types it.
14. No matter what time of day it is, he takes forever to text you back.
15. He gives you one-word answers.
16. He doesn’t text you to say Happy Easter or Merry Christmas, unless you say it to him first.
17. When he’s out with his friends, he completely stops texting you.
18. He always claims that he can’t talk, because his phone is running low on battery.
19. You can see that he “read” your text, but he isn’t typing anything back.
20. When you confront him about leaving your texts unanswered, he has plenty of excuses about how he’s so busy or about how he fell asleep in the middle of the conversation.
21. He only uses one Y when he texts you to say, “hey.”
22. He answers your texts, but when you try to call him, he always has an excuse to avoid picking up.
23. He only texts you when he’s wasted.
24. He texts you nonstop for a week, and then goes MIA the next week.
25. You have more conversations after midnight than when the sun is up.
26. He begs you for nude pictures.
27. But when you send him silly selfies while you’re fully clothed, he doesn’t bother to compliment them.
28. The only texts he sends you are mass texts.
29. Whenever you have a conversation with him, you somehow end up feeling worse than before he texted you.
30. He always texts you to rant about his life, but whenever you have a problem, he doesn’t have the time to give you advice.
31. He never sends you good morning or goodnight texts.
32. He never uses any emojis.
33. And he never initiates the conversation.
34. He asks you for advice on how he should flirt with the girl that he actually likes.
35. He asks “who dis?” because he doesn’t actually have your number saved in his phone.