28. I would not be friends with this person
My friend refuses to vacuum and her carpet is covered in a layer of loose hair.
29. When the house catches fire, I’d take the money drawer
I was visiting a friend one time and we were about to go buy a 30-rack at the nearby liquor store. I tell him we need to stop by an ATM so I can pick up some cash to pay. He just turns and looks at me and goes, “Don’t worry about it, we can just go to the money drawer”. This kid’s family literally kept a drawer full of $20 bills in the kitchen that you could just walk up to and grab whenever you needed something. It was pretty surreal.
30. That’s really ballsy
A white carpeted kitchen…
31. Please get yourself checked
They keep a sewing needle/pin stuck into their hand towel. I found it by reaching to use the hand towel to dry my hands and putting the pin through my finger. I was like wtf guys and they just shrugged as in ,’you don’t have sharp objects hiding in towels?’ They then went on to explain that it was used for draining pimples.
32. I’m glad it’s his ex-friend
My ex friend:
- His dog peed in the house so much parts of the floor was warped.
- He would stand on the first floor and pee down the basement stairs because going upstairs took too long.
- He didn’t want to grab a garbage can so he grabbed a hammer and knocked a hole in the wall. Proceeded to stuff chicken bones inside of it.
- He lived with his dad. They have a giant painting of a spider on the wall. Creepy as hell.
- All of the bush trimming in their yard was done with katanas. They rarely mowed out of fear of hitting a kunai or piece of broken blade.
- They had three neighbors next door to them in four years. I blame that when a machine stopped working they took it in the backyard and beat on it with sledgehammers and pipes. Three AM their microwave broke once and the cops were called after they beat it for an hour.
- They had an area rug in the middle of the living room. If there was flat pop in a can they poured it on the carpet and tossed the can in a bin for recycling. They didn’t want to get the bin full of stale pop…
- All of the furniture was from street corners just because. He drug a futon home three miles to put in his room. Nothing wrong with reusing things but this futon was barely functional and covered in garbage.
- The son showered once a every two weeks. He somehow had girlfriends (attractive and smart) all the time in high school and got laid daily. None of us could understand it since they too would go back to his place.
- He tossed sandwich parts he didn’t want (tomatoes, onions, certain meats) behind his TV dresser. He would leave the window open and told me it was so animals could get the food. Thought he was joking till I saw a squirrel running out with some bread he tore off.
