13. They’re worth quite a bit of money
I went to a friends house and they had their halls lined with grandfather clocks. This was a little weird but nothing major. The weird part came when his dad told me and my friend, “Don’t you kids go around telling anybody about my clocks.” Now I’ll never forget about his precious clocks.
14. One day, I’ll have yours
When I was dating my first girlfriend in high school, I was invited over to her house for dinner and meet the parents, etc. At one point I was talking with her father in his study and noticed lots of old-looking phallic objects on the shelves in the room. On closer inspection, they were mummified penises, dozens of them. Turns out he was a urologist and an amateur archaeologist.
15. Scarred for life (but maybe they were environmentalists)
I was about 12-13, visiting my best friend’s house for the first time. After lunch, I get the urge to take a dump, so I go to the restroom, do my thing, finish up, and flush.
Nothing. Nothing happens. I take a step back, flush again. Still nothing. So I start freaking the fuck out. I’m a kid, I just broke my friend’s toilet, I don’t have any money to pay to fix it or buy a new one. I’m standing there, sweating, trying to figure out a plan, and after 15 minutes I still got nothing.
I finally decide to fess up. I mean, I can’t stay in there all day, they’ll eventually figure out something is wrong, right? I step outside and sheepishly tell his mom that I broke the toilet. She starts laughing, goes into the bathroom and turns on the water flow to the toilet, waits a few minutes, then flushes, easy peasy. Everyone – the best friend, his mom, and his sister – then takes the opportunity to start laughing at me because I didn’t know it was “normal” to turn the water on/off whenever I needed to use the bathroom.
To this day if I’m unfamiliar with a restroom, I always do a precautionary flush just to make sure everything is working the way it should.
