20. Out of sight, out of mind
Whole items of food left for days on the floor. Toddler not interested in that apple? That’s fine, just leave it there on the floor where he threw it. It will work its way under a piece of furniture and out of sight if we give it some time. Once I went to these people’s house and there was an entire sandwich sitting in the corner of the living room floor. I was so distracted by it I didn’t really hear much of what was said during that visit. I just sat and stared at the floorwich.
21. This is pretty ridiculously cool
I had a friend in high school whose family used a GI Joe aircraft carrier as a coffee table.
22. But what if you fall in, what then
Girl from my previous work invited some of us over for dinner. As it turns out, she had removed the toilet seating from her toilet, “because it doesn’t look good enough with it on”. You actually had to sit on the thin ceramic rim.
23. “Constant jerking off” NBD
When I was eight, my friend told me she had Super Mario so of course we went to her house. Her parents thought it was okay to let her mentally handicapped older brother (probably around 15) wander around the house naked with a gigantic erection casually masturbating from room to room.
The room with the Nintendo was just a mattress (no sheets) and the TV. So at one point, he went into the other room and grabbed a chair, set it right down next to the TV facing us and went to town. Her mother walked into the room and let us know it was time for dinner, food stamp breakfast cereal, and the kid barely touched his food, just constant jerking off while they all ignored it like it was no big deal.
