SHIT FLAT EARTHERS ACTUALLY BELIEVE
condescendingly written by
Joel Farrelly
Until 1957 mankind as a whole had pretty much just been winging it with regards to astronomy, mathematics, navigation, and the multitude of other pursuits which had caused them to deduce that the Earth was round. But then World War II happened and when it was over, the United States suddenly had a bunch of really smart scientists with German accents, though it’s probably better if you don’t ask us how. Say it with me now…
“U! S! A! We’ll! Harbor! Monsters!”
The specifics aren’t important. The point is that we went on to make a lot of advancements in the field of rocket propulsion during that time and by 1957, humanity was gearing up to get its first true look at the Earth from space dot-dot-dot OR SO THEY THOUGHT CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC!
See, the USA and Russia had both been launching test-rockets into low-earth orbit for a while now but when they tried to go high enough to see the entire planet, they found something. Something that wouldn’t let them go any higher. The Bible called this “the Firmament”, basically a giant impenetrable dome that covers the entire world, and it rightly scared the shit out of all involved.
Russia lifted a 30-year sanction banning nuclear weapons simply so they could shoot shit at it. Of course, the U.S. had been way ahead of them on that idea. They even called it “Operation Fishbowl” if you’re curious how subtle they tried to be about the whole thing.
