Which Disney character can count the highest? Buzz Lightyear – he can count to infinity and beyond.
Essentially, every Dad Joke is just a request to be loved. That is why Dad Jokes are great.
Why was Santa’s little helper so depressed? He had very low elf esteem.
What’s it called when a cat paints itself?
A self paw-trait.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Why are atoms Catholic?
Because they have mass.
An Atheist, a vegan, and a cross trainer walk into a bar. I know this because they told everyone who they were within 5 minutes.
Hello there, generic internet audience. It is I, a generic 20-something writer living in New York City, here to bestow upon you some generic advice about love and dating and relationships (sup Jake, are you still checking in on me?).
Sarcastic girls can come across as heartless. As cold. As cruel. They might look like they don’t give a fuck about anyone or anything — but that is far from the truth.
Tell someone to spell “pig” backwards and then say “pretty colors.”