Jokes For Teens

200 Hilarious Jokes For Teens And Tweens

Whether you’re a parent with children, a teacher with students, or a teenager yourself, you should have some fun jokes ready to go. After all, the best way to break the ice is by making others laugh out loud. If you tell some hilarious jokes for teens, everyone will think you’re the funniest person around. The list of jokes below will cause plenty of laughter — and maybe a few eye rolls. 

The Best Funny Jokes For Teens

Teenagers have a great sense of humor. That’s why only the best jokes will make them laugh out loud. Try some from the collection below!

Illustrated art for this quote: A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don\'t serve food here.’
Quote Catalog
  1. What do you call a 60-year-old who hasn’t reached puberty? A late boomer.
  2. My high school bully still takes my lunch money. But on the upside, he makes great fries.
  3. Were any famous men and women born on your birthday? No, only babies.
  4. What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
  5. What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19? Quaranteens.
  6. How does the moon cut its hair? E-clipse it.
  7. How do Minecraft players celebrate? They throw block parties!
  8. How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream.
  9. What do you call hiking U.S. college students? The walking debt.
  10. Why do pimples make horrible prisoners? Because they keep breaking out!
  11. What did the grape say when he was pinched? Nothing, he gave a little wine.
  12. If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? Big hands.
  13. What is 47 + 11 + 82 + 161 + 99 + 5? A headache.
  14. What do pre-teen ducks hate? Voice quacks.
  15. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
  16. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
  17. Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank!
  18. Why do sharks swim in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
  19. Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady? A little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!
  20. What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all? Students.
  21. What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT? One letter.
  22. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
  23. What does a school and a plant have in common? STEM.
  24. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
  25. What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common? The Court.
  26. What book won’t teachers give you credit for reading? Facebook.
  27. Why did the elephant paint himself different colors? So he could hide in the crayon box!
  28.  Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
  29. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems!
  30. Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed some space.

Hilariously Funny Jokes For Tweens

Use this list of jokes for teens when you want to make someone in your high school laugh. They’ll think you’re the funniest kid in class!

Illustrated art for this quote: How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
Quote Catalog
  1. What kind of bone should a dog never eat? A trombone.
  2. What has two legs but can’t walk? A pair of jeans.
  3. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
  4. I think my algebra teacher is a pirate. All she ever wants to do is find X.
  5. Where do fruits go on vacation? Pearis.
  6. What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!
  7. How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
  8. What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
  9. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it? An envelope.
  10. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up.
  11. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
  12. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyoncè.
  13. What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.
  14. I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
  15. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
  16. Why did the period tell the comma to stop? It was the end of the sentence.
  17. What did the cowboy say to the dachshund puppies? Git along, little doggies
  18. Why’d the elementary students look up to the high schoolers? Because they’re smaller, they don’t have a choice.
  19. What has hands but can’t clap? A clock!
  20. What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog!
  21. What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? A power plant!
  22. Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir? Because she was a little horse!
  23. Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crummy!
  24. What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs!
  25. What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me!
  26. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let go of it!
  27. What kind of room doesn’t have doors? A mushroom!
  28. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
  29. What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside.

Funny Jokes For Kids

Make sure to tell these funny jokes to all your friends. You can even use them to impress boys or girls you’re crushing on!

Illustrated art for this quote: Why can\'t you trust a burrito? Cause it will spill the beans.
Quote Catalog
  1. What are two things you can’t have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
  2. What’s a crocodile’s favorite app? Snap!
  3. What is a cow without a map? Udderly lost.
  4. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to dance with.
  5. What did one egg say to another? You crack me up.
  6. Some kids told me they’d give me $20 to hang out with them. Turns out it was just clique bait.
  7. What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
  8. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
  9. Why did the selfie go to prison? It was framed.
  10. Have you heard where the word “studying” came from? Students-dying.
  11. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? Hit me baby one more time.
  12. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  13. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
  14. Why can’t a T-rex clap their hands? Because they’re extinct.
  15. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.
  16. How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer? You look at the second page of Google search results.
  17. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
  18.  How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave!
  19. Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!
  20. What do a judge and an English teacher have in common? Sentences. Lots and lots of sentences.
  21. Why don’t history teachers want to teach about the Middle Ages? It takes too many knights.
  22. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
  23. Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
  24. What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle!
  25. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!
  26. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!
  27. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
  28. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
  29. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
  30. Boys: We rule because God made us first! God made you girls last!
    Girls: Well, obviously God made a rough draft before a final copy.
  31. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

Puns and Dad Jokes Teenagers Will Love

Being a teenager isn’t easy. It’s hard to make friends. But telling a joke from the collection below could help you!

Illustrated art for this quote: How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Poke him on.
Quote Catalog
  1. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup.
  2. What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around? R2-Detour.
  3. What kind of hair does the ocean have? Wavy.
  4. What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
  5. My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.” But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
  6. What do you get when you mix sulfer, tungsten, and silver? SWAG.
  7. What is red, orange, and full of disappointment? High school pizza.
  8. What do computers eat for a snack? Microchips!
  9. Are you free tomorrow? No, I’m expensive. Sorry.
  10. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.
  11. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the “no-bell” prize.
  12. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
  13. What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple? They’re both red except for the green one.
  14. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? The snow!
  15. Which hand is better to write with? Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
  16. Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!
  17. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!
  18. Me: I cleaned all the dishes. Mom: Aren’t you going to put them away too? Me: You have to upgrade from the trial version to the full version.
  19. When my name’s in a math problem and the class stares:
    Me – That’s right bitches, I bought 60 watermelons.
  20. How do mountains stay warm in winter? Snowcaps.
  21. Why can’t a person’s nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
  22. What has a ton of ears but can’t hear a thing? A corn field.
  23. What do you call the horse that lives next door? Your neighbor!
  24. A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A boy responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
  25. What did the French teacher say to the class? I don’t know. I couldn’t understand her.
  26. Why couldn’t the teacher control her pupils? She couldn’t find her glasses.
  27. If two science teachers go to a bar, where do they sit? The periodic table.
  28. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Funny Jokes And Riddles For Teenage Kids

It’s okay if you’ve run out of joke ideas. If you want to make another teen laugh with a funny comment, here are some of the most hilarious jokes you can tell!

Illustrated art for this quote: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
Quote Catalog
  1. What stays in a corner but can travel the world? A postage stamp.
  2. What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon aid.
  3. What fruit tease people a lot? Ba-na, na, na, na…na!
  4. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it? An envelope.
  5. What kind of water cannot freeze? Hot water.
  6. Why do kangaroo mums hate rainy weather? Their joeys have to play inside.
  7. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reali-tea.
  8. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
  9. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints.
  10. Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
  11. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  12. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn?
  13. What did one DNA strand say to the other? Does my bum look good in these genes?
  14. Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens? He lost his Hedwig.
  15. How do Minecraft players celebrate? They throw block parties.
  16. I was looking for the lightning when it struck me.
  17. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
  18. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
  19. How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? Shocked!
  20. The wedding was so beautiful. Even the cake was in tiers.
  21. What did the mime say to his audience? Nothing. He held his character because he’s a professional.
  22. What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler? Nothing, they texted.
  23. What do yo call a vegan post-punk band? Soy Division.
  24. What did the traffic light say to the truck? Don’t look! I’m changing!
  25. What is the witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling!
  26. What did the frog order for lunch? A burger and a diet croak!
  27. Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert? Because she was stuffed!
  28. Knock knock. Who’s there? Yah. Yah Who? Naaah bro, I prefer Google.
  29. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
  30.  Why did the boy run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.
  31. Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!

Fun Jokes For Teenagers 

Whether you’re raising a teen or are a teenager yourself, you can connect with others by making them laugh! Here are some funny jokes for teens that will help you:

Illustrated art for this quote: Why did the can crusher quit his job. Because it was soda pressing.
Quote Catalog
  1. How can you tell if someone is a good farmer? He is outstanding in his field!
  2. Why did the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C.
  3. What do you call a kangaroo crossed with a sheep? A woolly jumper.
  4. What has one eye, but can’t see? A needle.
  5. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato? Mashed potato.
  6. A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup.”
  7. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  8. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
  9. Why do rappers need umbrellas? Fo’ drizzle.
  10. What’ the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
  11. What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all? Students.
  12. Why did the period tell the comma to stop? It was the end of the sentence.
  13. How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired.
  14. What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? This is going to be your last roast.
  15. What kind of fighter never uses his fist, but his weapons are delicious? A food fighter.
  16. What do you call dinner theatre in a high school cafeteria? Mystery food.
  17. How many Emo kids do you need to screw in a light-bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
  18. When the bottle of Pepsi hit me, I didn’t cry. It was a soft drink.
  19. Why did the teacher send the kid to detention? He swore he did his homework.
  20. What’s that thing called when your crush likes you back? Oh yeah, imagination.
  21. Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups? Because they can’t even.
  22. What did the tomato say to the ketchup bottle? How you doin’ brother.
  23. What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.
  24. What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle? A polar bear.
  25. It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
  26. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
  27. My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it’s also terrible.
  28. What did Blackbeard say when he turned 80? “Aye, matey.”
  29. What do you do if there is a kidnapping at high school? You wake him up.
  30. My lab slipped her collar, but I didn’t have to retriever.
  31. What kind of haircuts do bees get? Buzzzzcuts!

The Best Jokes For Teens

Don’t hold back your jokes! Tell all your friends these funny jokes for teens. Or if you’re parents of teenagers, post them on Instagram and Facebook!

Illustrated art for this quote: What did the right eye say to the left eye. Between you and me, something smells.
Quote Catalog
  1. What kind of key can never unlock a door? A monkey.
  2. Why couldn’t Cinderella play soccer? She kept running away from the ball.
  3. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
  4. Why don’t sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
  5. What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle!
  6. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  7. Knock Knock. Who’s There? To. To Who? It’s to whom.
  8. What do you call a dog in summer? A hot dog
  9. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
  10. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
  11. Want to hear a roof joke? The first one’s on the house.
  12. What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns? Go straight for the juggler.
  13. Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because it’s bound to squeal.
  14. What do cows order from? Cattle-logs!
  15. I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting.
  16. A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, “This is a library.” The man apologizes and whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please.”
  17. Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore.
  18. Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn’t like it when she went the extra mile.
  19. Why don’t koalas count as bears? They don’t have the right koalafications.
  20. A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals.
  21. It’s always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
  22. Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.
  23. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
  24. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
  25. What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
  26. What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me!
  27. Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day to dance? The Meat Ball!
  28. What time does a duck wake up? The quack of down.
  29. Some people eat snails. They must not like fast food.
  30. What can you catch but not throw? A cold!
  31. How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling!

Funny One-Liners And Knock Knock Jokes For Teens

Here are some more funny jokes that you can tell all the other teens! You’re sure to make them laugh out loud!

Illustrated art for this quote: How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.
Quote Catalog
  1. I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
  2. I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, we just give you what you deserve.
  3. People are always telling me to live my dreams, but I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for.
  4. Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, and today I asked her to marry me. She said no on both occasions.
  5. I thought my neighbors were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their wi-fi.
  6. I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
  7. A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
  8. Why are elephants so wrinkled? Because they take too long to iron!
  9. If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!
  10. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
  11. What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow!
  12. How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  13. How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button!
  14. People think “icy” is the easiest word to spell. Come to think of it, I see why.
  15. Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
  16. What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers? Kids don’t eat broccoli!
  17. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
  18. What’s a balloon’s least favorite type of music? Pop.
  19. I went into a store to buy some books about turtles. “Hardbacks?” asked the shopkeeper.”Yes,” I replied. “And they have little heads, too.”
  20. What does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
  21. I used to be addicted to not showering. Luckily, I’ve been clean for five years.
  22. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
  23. When I was a teenager, I had to learn how to drive a stick. We couldn’t afford a car.
  24. Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he’s a pain in the neck.
  25. What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.
  26. Why did the teenager call 17 of his friends to watch a movie? Because on the poster, it said “under 18 not allowed”.
  27. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
  28. What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.
  29. I used to be an angsty teenager. Fortunately, it was just a phase though. Now I’m an angsty adult.
  30. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi bud!
  31. I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
  32. Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
  33. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
About the author
January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.

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