Nikita Gill

Love is not supposed to be so hard. Yes, love requires compromise, and it requires change but it should not feel like it is difficult to change a few things about your life for that person.

Alone and lonely are two different things. Alone means nights with my books. Alone means quiet star gazing and drinking tea drinking on my roof. Alone means hours of self aware retrospection in a coffee shop whilst scribbling poetry. But most importantly alone means not wilting into the arms of a man who may not appreciate the stars and poetry.

Falling out of love happens to the best of us, but the right person would not be able to fall out of love with you when you are still loving them with everything that is inside you.

People’s actions are their own. We are all responsible for the way we behave with others. And the easy way out is to say “She provoked me, or he caused me to act like a horrible person.” No. We all have a choice. And the people who broke you had a choice too.

If you find yourself unable to sleep because your heart is thumping, your brain won’t shut off, all you can think of is the negative, your whole body feels like it’s one giant ball of unhappiness, find an audio book, a soft soothing one to listen to.

In a world where everything has a price tag attached, you are a real thing that expects nothing in return. And that is suspicious to people who do not know how to give out pure love without expecting anything back.

Wake up a bit earlier everyday. From 8, make it 7, from 7 make it 6.

It’s not hard to make her feel appreciated. She doesn’t expect much, she expects you to be faithful and to show interest in her. And the little things you do mean so much more than grand gestures ever could.

As an anxious person, there is nothing worse than trying to get in touch with someone and them not answering or getting back to you when you need them to. As your brain slowly starts to disintegrate, illogical thoughts merge together and several things go wrong at once. By the time the end of the day comes around, you have convinced yourself that either you are unwanted or the worst has happened.

Let me tell you a secret: As long as you are trying, you are doing just fine.

You will accept yourself by allowing yourself to breathe in the moments you feel like you are falling apart. You will accept yourself by not beating yourself up when you do something wrong, instead look to what you can do to fix it. You will accept yourself by feeding yourself self love when rejection has struck you the hardest.

When the world has torn into you and left your kindness in shreds, when the unfairness of the world itself gets to you, I need you to remember this. You are needed.

These are the things I need to let go of about you. The conversations we had. The moments I genuinely believed were true.

Do everything you possibly can as a human to make other people’s lives easier, but please do not do this at cost to yourself or your mental health, no matter what anyone says.

There are days when anxiety makes you feel so kerosene drenched and flammable, that anything can be a trigger to a colossal fire within you.

If he loves you, he will not be okay with you not being okay. If he is a decent human being, he will want to know about his selfish behaviour and how it affects you. If he is kind, he will not be able to see you being sad over something he has done wrong. You are doing both yourself and him an injustice by not trusting him with your true feelings in lieu of being low maintenance.

Recognise that there are people in this world who are going to use your trauma, your heartache to control you in an argument, in a relationship, in your life, in moments when you are at your most fragile and vulnerable. This is how abusers work.

Part of being a good person is finding the strength and kindness to walk away even when you are holding a tinder box that could blaze through an evil person’s entire world.