Thank you because even with all the pain and the heartache and the pain, I do not regret you, you were not a mistake. You were not something to forget easily.
What you have right now is not going to get better if you avoid bettering it by hunting for a secret door out of your life into a magically better one.
No, I am not going to sit here and pretend the problem was me when very clearly it was you. You don’t get to treat me like I am nothing but a fire you need to warm your hands by only to douse it out when the time has come to leave.
One day you will find someone who shows you that everything that scares you can be defeated.
You are blessed, you are, because you have something other people have given up, little realising how precious it is. Your kindness is the most wonderful thing about you and it comes from the softness in your heart, from feeling too much where others feel too little, from noticing the things that other people just pass by.
I am finally teaching myself that I am allowed to exist on this planet without thinking of myself as a burden.
The strongest ones of us need support more than anything in the world because of being strong so very long that when they fall apart, it is not just a human falling to pieces and recovering, it is an avalanche, a volcanic eruption, the amount of pain that you could not imagine possible for a human to hold within themselves.
For even when you are at your worst, even through this I will love you.
I wondered what to do with this universe you abandoned. Was it dead because you had left it? Can you bury a universe? Does a universe get its own grave?
Healing is not a competition in any way, shape or form. You do not need to be in any hurry because someone else who survived the same trauma as you has healed faster than you. Your trauma journey is individual to you.