Maybe no one told you this often enough, but it is okay to be sad. It’s all right to feel things to a point that makes you want to clench your fists tight. It’s fine to be angry. We spend so much time trying to get over these emotions that we do not spend enough time trying to actually feel and get through them. So how can we possibly cope with negative feelings when we repress them at all costs?
It starts from an early age. From when adults around us tell us, “Don’t get angry.” Or “Don’t be upset.” Or “Don’t cry.” And we listen, thinking that they know best. Hide our anger and upset and tears behind forced smiles. Children’s memories are shorter, and slowly we convince ourselves of our own lies and are happy again. It’s harder when we grow up. It’s harder to forcibly let go of a feeling as an adult.
I have never understood why it is so important to not feel negative emotions if they are felt in a way that does no harm to others. Why before we feel them, we are already being forced into letting something go. I genuinely believe that all negative emotions need to be felt, and in full in order to be able to deal, cope and let them go. Repression is deeply unhealthy because eventually these feelings do come out. And they come out in ways that could end up hurting those we love, and most of all, ourselves.
So instead, feel it. Feel everything. Let yourself feel these emotions and cry, shout, hit a punching bag, feel it all, let yourself bleed all the poison out in every way you can. Hit the gym, go for a trek, have some time alone, find a friend whose shoulder you can cry on, just allow yourself the opportunity to feel those negative emotions so you can truly let them go. But not because someone has told you to. Not because someone has made you, but because you have finally chosen to. Because it was your choice and your choice alone to let them ago.
Only then will you feel truly rid of any negativity that exists inside you.