Latest From
Thought Catalog
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To The One Who Broke Her Heart
Actually, forget that. Let’s not waste our time with meaningless pleasantries. Our acquaintanceship was as much out of necessity and courtesy as any could ever be. I loved her, and…
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How To Tell If Somebody Loves You
Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but…
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Top Five Things People Like To Write On Someone's Facebook Wall
Couples gushing about each other on their Facebook walls should be illegal. Like Time Warner Cable or Comcast needs to come to their door, find their router and smash it…
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A Guide To Having A Drug Dealer?
Attempting to meet up with your drug dealer is sort of like going to the gym. You wait 45 minutes for a text and then when you get it, you…
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5 Body Language Signs To Tell You He’s The One
Ladies, we all know men are hard to figure out. They are a constantly shifting puzzle, 10,000 pieces, all sky. Perpetually finding new ways to obfuscate their thoughts and subvert…
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All The Times I Failed To Have A Threesome
In some ways, it’s more aggravating that I came so close to having a threesome. If it had never been a possibility, then I might never have cared. But to…
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If I Were A Girl
If I were a girl I would cry a lot. I mean, I’m already emotional with a penis so I shudder to think what I would be like as a…
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The Pros And Cons Of Being Introverted
Whatever the case, if you’re introverted, people just sort of grant you intelligence before you’ve hardly said a word. They’ll look you in the eye, raise an eyebrow and say…
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The Secret Lives Of Girls (The Things I Do That You Don't Want To Know I Do)
I know you probably think I’m some kind of uniquely filthy, completely nasty woman, but I’m not. Just because I like picking the wax out of my ears and rolling…
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5 Reasons I Hate Cell Phones (And You Should Too)
Sometimes it’s a “WhereeEeee areejeee youuyuuu?” text that I accidentally sent her because she appears as a contact right below my best friend. Other times, I hit her with a…
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5 Hot Men Who Also Happen To Be Insane Murderers
I thought only ugly people were murderers. Why are all of these hot men getting into it now? It used to be that if you picked a good-looking husband, you…
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A Welcome Letter To Interns
Congratulations on reaching this most exciting stage in your life! In the next several weeks/months you will be working on the most fascinating projects that we could not assign to…
