5 Hot Men Who Also Happen To Be Insane Murderers

1. Scott Peterson

Cue the Best Coast song: “I wish he was my boyfriend, I wish he was my boyfriend!” Except not really, Scott Peterson, because you would probably kill me and I think you’re only into chicks anyway. Murderer or not, you must admit that Scott Peterson is a # 1 babe. His tan skin and beautiful dirty blonde hair totally make it shocking that he killed someone! I thought only ugly people were murderers. Why are all of these hot men getting into it now? It used to be that if you picked a good-looking husband, you could pretty much guarantee he wouldn’t kill you. Not anymore though! God, is anything sacred? Did you guys watch the made-for-TV movie about him and Laci? Dean Cain played him. As in Superman and Rick from Beverly Hills, 90210! No wonder so many women are sending him fan mail in prison. (But on the real, isn’t that kind of terrifying? Women are actually sending a man who murdered his wife sexy letters. Ugh, I need to take a bath).

2. Michael Alig

Michael Alig isn’t a conventional babe (keep in mind that he was played by Macaulay Culkin, not Dean Cain) but he’s actually gay so he deserves to be on the list. If you’re not familiar, Michael Alig is the famous club kid from the ’80s who murdered his drug dealer. A book was written about it called Disco Bloodbath, which was later turned into the movie, Party Monster. Based on what I’ve read about him, he doesn’t sound too different from all of the other shithead nightcrawlers who are out being famous today. To achieve some notoriety on the party scene, you sort of have to be sociopathic. Your narcissism is practically deadly. Alig just took it one step further by being on lots of heroin and doing the damn thing. He is creepy though. I wouldn’t let him into my club.

3. Joran van der Sloot

Joran van der Sloot is the 23-year-old who murdered Natalee Holloway in Aruba and most recently a girl in Peru. His bio reads like any other asshole jock’s. He was a star athlete in high school and then later went on to become a professional poker player/cold-blooded killer. Even though Joran is a total babe, there is something about him that’s even more terrifying than the average murderer. Do not want.

4. O.J. Simpson

Of course I’m referring to O.J. Simpson the football player and star of Naked Gun, not the fat old crazy person he is today. Judging by this NSFW naked picture of him from the ’70s, Simpson seemed to be pretty well hung too! Sigh. What a waste of good penis. Isn’t it weird how after he allegedly killed his ex-wife, Simpson managed to still be rolling in women? Like how does that work exactly? “Hi, you probably killed the last person you dated? Sexy! When can we hook up?!” Ugh, some people have serious issues to work through. True Life: I Need To Stop Falling In Love With Men Who Will Kill Me.

5. Paul Bernardo of Barbie and Ken fame

If you’re not too familiar with this case, watch this:

It’s so disturbing, I can’t even really type about it. But to give you a PG version, Paul Bernardo was a babe living in Canada who raped and murdered a bunch of girls with his wife Karla, who would videotape the killings.  It’s a truly disgusting story but what’s even more bizarre is that yet again, the media latched on to their good looks by nicknaming them Barbie and Ken. The fact that they looked like prom king and queen was something people never got over. Granted, if they looked like Tom Arnold and Roseanne, people would still be horrified but they’d also somehow less scared of it. People have an easier time understanding why ugly people kill than they do with attractive people. Maybe it’s because they figure that homely people have been ostracized by society their whole life and therefore, are more likely to harbor ill will and resentment towards people. Whatever the reason, it’s fascinating. Basically, the hotter you are, the more likely you’re going to be talked about (I’m writing this post right now, aren’t I?). Getting back to Paul Bernardo, he’s hot. I would do him. The end! TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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  • Guest1

    What about Ted Bundy? Definitely top 5…

    • S.H

      I could not agree more. None of the people listed above are even attractive…

      • Rockandrollme2003

        scott peterson + paul bernardo + joran are babes for sure hellooo

    • Guest

      Right?  Ted Bundy was fine as hell.

    • ALEX

      YES! ted bundy = bangin’.

  • Jennifer

    I do not find any of these men attractive!!

  • ....

    What about Richard Ramirez “The Nightstalker”? Looks Like a Vampire.

  • Ah


  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1198922828 Marianna Elvira

    lol none of them are that great………….

  • http://twitter.com/crapface Hannah Foster.

    These men are nothing special. Scott Peterson has lovely eyes, though! I think he was set up; it’s like a rule or something that you can’t look in to the eyes of killers without wanting to scrub your own out with salt, so he can’t have done it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/gregpphoto Greg Petliski

      Oh is that you figure it out?

  • Mmm

    this made me feel kind of bad

  • federico

    all these men have generic good looks, but nothing special.  also, they are all insane.

  • RAH

    “the killer in you is the killer in me” – billy corgan

  • Guest

    This is really fucking disturbing. Especially the inclusion of Paul Bernardo.  Who even takes the time to write a list like this? You’re a sick person

    • EP

      oh please, one of these exists for women in texas. get over yourself.

      • Guest

        and what’s your point?
        Paul Bernardo is from a town near me. He was all over the news when I grew up.  Seeing someone write that they would ‘do him’ is pretty fucking insane

      • Anti-Climacus

        Someone’s jealous they didn’t make the list!

  • Frida

    Is it weird I watched both of the Ken and Barbie videos?
    What sick people.

    I don’t find these men attractive though, in any manner.

  • Sarah H

    a) I would bang the ever living shit out of Joran. Like he could even seriously injure me (like possibly punch me in the face mid-coitus?) and I would probably just ask for more.
    b) Scott Peterson was infinitely hotter pre-scary-run-away-to-Mexico-dye-job-rapist-beard-combo.
    c) No list of Hot Men Scary Murderers is complete without this guy. http://bit.ly/kV3eHt Isn’t his sadness sort of precious? And he didn’t kill someone he was married to or buying drugs from. Which makes him…. a… less murdery murderer??
    d) Also this guy is a total douchewad but he managed to involve VH1, Louis Vuitton, and the entire country of Canada.
    e) No, I have not spent any time thinking about this.

  • Pfft

    you forgot to mention that with the barbie and ken thing, one of them was her sister.

  • http://twitter.com/ichrischen Chris Chen

    Someone has low standards for sexual appeal..

  • Anonymous

    I don’t really find Scott Peterson attractive in the first place but he is definitely better looking as a brunette and minus the facial hair: http://crimemagazine.com/images/scott_peterson.jpg

  • Anti-Climacus

    Jared Loughner was pretty hot with hair, but I’m not really digging the whole bald thing. 

  • DE

    Yeeahh, you have low standards and I’m not just saying that because they’re murderers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Heather-Mulkey/1327039436 Heather Mulkey

    awesome oj find, btw- twas an unexpectedly pleasant surprise xD

  • rachel

    Ugh, because of this article I am currently stuck in a wikipedia k-hole reading about serial killers

  • http://www.facebook.com/mariana.valdivia.baraibar Marianita Valdivia Baraibar

    the name of the girl that Joran Van der sloot kill in Lima Perú is Stephany Flores, you should mention her name or Is she less than Natalee Holloway?

  • http://www.facebook.com/gregpphoto Greg Petliski

    For all the women who think they would never date these kinds of people, remember that dozens of women sent marriage proposals to Ted Bundy, who was then on trial for having killed 40 something women. Have fun!

  • Indescifrable

    Thought I’m intrigued by the motives of some serial killers, I would never, ever, consider having sex with them, the evil factor totally kills the looks. Besides, none of them are thaaaaaaat good looking (perhaps OJ in the 70’s and only because I liked his penis)

  • Indescifrable

    Thought I’m intrigued by the motives of some serial killers, I would never, ever, consider having sex with them, the evil factor totally kills the looks. Besides, none of them are thaaaaaaat good looking (perhaps OJ in the 70’s and only because I liked his penis)

  • guest

    Ryan, you HAVE TO PEEP this blog: http://mydaguerreotypeboyfriend.tumblr.com/  SO it isn’t about killers, but it’s about dead guys. Some of them killed people. Anyway, it’s FULL of hotties. Make sure you get to page 2 cause the guy who invented the ink blot test (Rorschach) is a dead ringer for Brad Pitt in Inglorious Basterds. Or Brad Pitt is a dead ringer for him…

  • Katia

    You forgot Che Guevara!

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