Holly Riordan

You stare into the mirror. You look at yourself but you don’t feel like you’re looking at yourself. You can’t process the fact that the human in the mirror is you. You feel disconnected. Numb. You’re either feeling too much or nothing at all.

I want to date someone who acts like loving me is the easiest thing in the world. Someone who never makes me feel like I’m asking for too much. Someone who never makes me feel like a burden. 

There is never any closure. There is always a bit of hope.

She let you leave the house without telling her where you were going and then welcomed you with open arms when you wandered back inside.

You put in as much effort as she does. You try as hard as she does. You care as much as she does.

I am slowly learning to stop comparing my milestones. To stop questioning my worth. To stop acting like I should be somewhere I am not by now.

Love is about sitting on opposite ends of the couch, on separate laptops, and feeling completely comfortable in the silence. 

2018 is the year for self-discovery. It is the year for you to figure out what kind of person is hiding inside of you. For you to chase after your career dreams. For you to wander after your wildest ideas. For you to learn to love yourself. For you to grow into the future version of yourself. 

She seems strong, because she goes out of her way to make sure everyone else is happy. Because she not only takes care of herself, but also takes care of everyone around her. 

You will lose him when you start expecting him to reach your standards. You will lose him when you admit that you want something serious. When you ask him to become your official boyfriend instead of your almost boyfriend. 

She gets attached easily because she isn’t used to being treated with kindness. She is used to being ignored. Blending into the background. Feeling invisible. Feeling like she does not matter. 

You hardened her soft heart. You are the reason why she no longer believes in fairy tales. You are the reason why she is closing herself off. You are the reason why her world is falling apart. 

I found a few of my Instagram pictures, some with my eyes marked out in red. Some with a black sharpie line across my throat. Some with my head cut out completely. 

I am tired of thinking that everyone else deserves more than I do.

Don’t expect me to answer your texts when you can’t answer mine.

Your anxiety might make you think that you are never going to find love. That you are destined to end up alone. But that is far from the truth. 

Aries: You keep acting like a relationship is going to destroy your independence and using that as an excuse to stay single.

I am finally learning to put myself first. I am finally realizing that I deserve more than what you have been putting me through. I am finally seeing my own worth.