I am slowly learning to stop exaggerating my flaws and devaluing my strengths. I am imperfect. I am a work in progress. But I am not a failure. I am not broken. I am not a disaster. I am doing my best and that is all I can ask of myself.
I am slowly learning to stop being so hard on myself. To stop comparing my milestones. To stop questioning my worth. To stop turning romance and careers into a competition. To stop acting like I should be somewhere I am not by now. To stop rushing through my youth and tumbling toward my headstone.
I am slowly learning to be proud of my accomplishments, no matter how insignificant they may seem to the eyes of outsiders. I am proud of the degree I have earned. I am proud of the home I have created. I am proud of the friendships I have forged. I am proud of how far I have come since my childhood. I am proud of the person hidden inside of my marrow.
I am slowly learning to think more of myself. To raise my standards. To say I am good enough. To cut toxic people out of my life because I deserve better than their subpar treatment. I am slowly learning to only surround myself with people who can help better me. People who want what is best for me. People who share my morals and core values.
I am slowly learning that my negativity does not make me a realist. It only makes living more difficult. It makes me expect the worst. It makes me assume that the world is out to get me, that there is a conspiracy against me.
I am slowly learning that my pessimism does nothing to help me. I would benefit more from seeing the good in the world, from seeing the good in myself. I need to readjust my lens on life if I want to find happiness, if I want to crawl out of the trench I have dug for myself. I need to make a change. I need to be brave enough to make a change.
I am slowly learning that loving myself is a never-ending battle, but accepting myself is within my means. I accept what I look like on the outside. I accept where I come from. I accept who I am — and that acceptance will one day lead me to self-fulfillment.
I am slowly learning that being my own worst critic is not going to help me discover success. It is only going to demotivate me. It is only going to lower my stamina. It is only going to bring me down instead of helping me reach the peak where I belong.
I am slowly learning that I should treat myself better. I should care about myself more. I should value myself the way I value the family and friends surrounding me.
I am slowly learning to stop being so hard on myself — because I matter more than I realize.