Holly Riordan

You should be excited when your person is excited. You should be happy when your person is happy. You shouldn’t want to ruin their fun, simply because you don’t understand it, or because you’re not involved in it.

They actively work on problems instead of pushing them under the rug.

Your person should encourage your growth in areas you are passionate about working on — but they shouldn’t be giving you ultimatums about what you need to change about your looks and your personality in order to keep them around.

Don’t let anyone convince you your standards are too high when all you’re really asking for is a strong, stable relationship.

You deserve more than someone who cannot even send a text back. You deserve more than someone who half asses their effort.

You shouldn’t stay with someone in the hopes they’re going to change their behavior, in the hopes they are going to rise to your standards, in the hopes they aren’t going to act anything like the way they have been acting lately.

You get butterflies whenever their name appears on your phone, whenever they compliment you on your outfit, whenever their skin brushes against yours on accident.

Whenever someone flirts with you, or admits to having feelings for you, you’re suspicious.

You’re putting your whole heart and soul into each message — and he’s replying with one word answers.

You don’t want to settle for someone who doesn’t fit you, someone who doesn’t respect you, someone who doesn’t deserve you, simply because you are worried about being alone instead. 

If you happen to have a problem with something your partner has said or done, you should feel comfortable talking to them about it to them without fear of the conversation escalating into an enormous fight.

It’s not easy being vulnerable about your emotions, especially when you’re used to looking like you have your shit together, when you’re used to acting like nothing bothers you, when you’re used to pretending everything rolls right off your back.

Your forever person will want to better themselves in order to strengthen the relationship.

You need to go easier on yourself when you make a mistake, when you say the wrong thing, when you mess up your plans.

When you know he’s going to break your heart, but you chase him anyway, it’s not because you’re stupid. It’s not because you’re reckless. It’s not because you’re on some self-destructive path where you’re actively trying to break your own heart. 

If you only cut them out of your world halfway, if you end up talking to them every time you’re drunk or lonely, then you’re never going to get over them.

They are constantly checking in on their friends and family members, but they rarely take the time to check in with themselves, to ask themselves how they are feeling, to practice self-reflection and self-care. 

I am slowly learning how to say no without feeling too bad about it, without being drenched in guilt, without wondering whether people would have liked me more if I had stayed quiet and cooperative.