When someone toxic reaches out to you, you are under no obligation to answer them. You don’t owe them anything, not even a response. You don’t have to open up the gates to your heart. You don’t have to answer to be nice. You don’t have to give them a second chance, even if years have passed and maybe they have changed.
You’re not overreacting or holding a grudge by refusing to give them anymore of your time. You’re only protecting yourself. You’re doing the best thing for your own sanity.
You have to remember, even though approving a friend request or sending a polite text back might seem like a small, harmless move, you know it’s more than that. You know speaking to them again is a huge deal. And you know one text isn’t going to be the end of this.
Allowing them back into your world could unravel months, maybe even years, of progress. It could bring you right back to the same mindset you were in when you last associated with them. It could cause the world you’ve built without them to fall apart.
When someone toxic reaches out again, you have every right to pretend it never happened. You can go right back to living without them. You can go right back to not thinking about them. You can move on with your day, move on with your life.
But if you make the decision to accept their olive branch, if you decide to allow them back into your universe again, you need to make sure your heart is able to handle the trouble.
You cannot have any expectations. You cannot assume they are going to treat you right because they’ve learned their lesson or because they’ve matured now that they’re older or because they don’t want to lose you again. There is a chance talking to them could give you closure. But there is also a chance talking to them is going to make things worse.
If you had difficulty moving on from them the first time, the second time probably won’t be any easier. It’s probably not a great idea to put yourself in the same exact position and expect different results.
When someone toxic reaches out to you, you need to set boundaries in order to protect yourself. If you only want this person around in small doses, you need to be transparent with them about that. And if they push you, if they try to wedge themselves back into your world in a way that makes you uneasy, then you need to pull back again. You need to be ready to cut them out of your life again at any time because you already know what they’re capable of doing to you. You know how horrible they can make you feel.
When someone toxic reaches out to you, don’t worry about coming across as rude by ignoring them. You’re allowed to keep them in your past. But if you include them in your future, please, please, be careful with your heart.