Holly Riordan

If you have to ask your friends if it’s a good idea to text them, then it’s definitely not a good idea to text them.

Aries: You need to get all of the craziness out of your system. Get your own apartment, travel overseas, and sleep with total strangers, so that you’ll be ready to settle down when the time comes.

I really want pizza. And a cute guy to eat it with.

“I choked her to death then cut her in small pieces so I could take my meat to my room, cook, and eat it.”

“My friend went camping alone in the woods. He came back on Sunday and looked through his camera. He came across a picture of himself sleeping in his tent.”

Instead of calling each other cute nicknames, you call each other weird, embarrassing nicknames that no one else would understand.

He always sticks around after sex for cuddling and pillow talk, but in the morning, he freaks out and leaves as quickly as he can.

Give her a cute nickname. Not “baby” or “honey.” Something personalized.

Someone that she’s not afraid of annoying by double texting.

Instead of filling his room with CDs or Rangers merch or posters of naked girls, he had shadowboxes stuffed with dead moths swinging from his walls, their wings pinned down with tacks.

Talk to you from morning until night, instead of magically appearing once the sun goes down.

Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. First I was scared seeing the killer’s actions, then I was scared of myself as I started to sympathize with him.

“I tried to shoot myself. Well, the bullet turned out to be a dud and that ended that. Few days later, I go to the range and fire that exact bullet and it fires off.”

Don’t make me fall for you if you’re going to call me psycho as soon as I get attached to you.

Letting him be the small spoon for a change.

Wear high waisted jeans and shorts and skirts. If your ass normally looks flat, high waisted items will change that.

I would be torn between stopping mid-stride to stare and gliding past you in a classy attempt to act like I hadn’t seen you. I would be torn between cocooning you in my arms and cursing you out.

Music note: You know how to play at least one instrument, and you always have your earbuds in.