Holly Riordan

Don’t list those bland hobbies that everyone posts, like hiking and drinking coffee and watching Netflix.

If you couldn’t make a relationship work with someone as sweet as him, then how are you ever going to make it work with anyone?

When you’re down to the last slice of pizza, she’s going to offer it to you. Then she’ll swear that she doesn’t want it, so you don’t feel bad about taking it.

Your heartbeat is my favorite sound.

A man who’s comfortable talking dirty to you and comfortable crying in front of you.

“We had lost the needle inside this guy’s jugular.”

“Body parts just scattered everywhere. About 10 minutes later, a pack of wild dogs showed up and ate what was left of them.”

Before I met you, I told myself that I was better off being alone. That dating would only lead to heartbreak. That there wasn’t a single man on the face of the planet that deserved my love.

You always hang out at his house. You never walk around the mall together or go to the movies.

I want you to run your hands over my pussy, so you can feel how wet I am.

Libra: You love to admire beautiful things, which is why you should get a tattoo that shows off your femininity. Try getting a series of pink and red flowers going down your arm or a bow going down your back.

You never knew I liked you, because instead of calling you up to tell you how I felt, I complained to my friends about how stupid you were or wrote poetry in my journal or just listened to music with lyrics that reminded me of you.

Get up and dance with you at weddings, even though he knows he’s going to look like a complete fool.

Throw her onto the bed. Don’t place her down tenderly, like she’s a piece of glass you’re worried about shattering.

Scorpio: Deep down, you don’t think you deserve happiness. That’s why you’re always going after the wrong person.

When I looked at the twenty-year old family portrait, one of my mom and dad and me, I saw an extra face hovering in between my parents. A face that didn’t belong there.

Before I go to bed, I’m going to check my locks, even if I know that I already locked them. And if I wake up after dreaming about my dog dying, I’m going to run downstairs until I can find him and make sure everything’s okay.

Just because she feels wet to you, it doesn’t mean she’s in the mood. Women naturally produce discharge, so she might not be as turned on as you think.