If I made the mistake of trying to argue back I was “punished” with no sex for a month at a time. I began to act like a dog with an abusive owner, I would come home cowering and hope and pray and said and did the right things. She would punch herself in the face and If I didn’t do what she said she would threaten to call the cops and say that I hit her. It’s all about control to the pscyopaths. The worst part is the guilt, psychopaths favorite tool of them all If they can find a way to turn the tables and make you feel like its your fault, THEY WILL. I’m not saying I’m totally innocent in not making it work, but I finally had enough-the blackmail,the guilt,the fear of being humiliated, the insecurity.
My Fellow men who are in an abusive relationship right now, YOU HAVE POWER,GET YOUR ASS UP AND WALK OUT THE DOOR AND DONT LOOK BACK. SHE WILL FIND ANOTHER VICTIM SOON ENOUGH. (I found my hope and motivation to get out from a website called menwhoareabused.com)
Not sure if this qualifies but here’s my story. My ex and I have a child together but were never married. We went through a very difficult custody battle during which time she drove to my house to drop my son off and started yelling at my about not returning a shirt. Instead of standing there holding my 1 year old and getting yelled at I decided to shut the front door of my home. My ex tried pushing her way into the house so she could still tell at my but I pushed back and locked the door. An hour later 3 police are at my home and I get arrested and my son taken from me. Long story short I get my joint custody but not without more lawyers and court bullshit. To this day the cops in my town think I’m some type of woman beater.
Came home from hanging out with my sister and her husband. the x and I had been fighting a lot at the time so she was pretty pissed that I didn’t call or anything. yelling ensues, I had eaten a Seattle street dog a lil fast and accidentally puked on myself earlier that night, so I try to explain that I just wanna change and go to bed.
I went into the bedroom and she said something that made me stop what I was doing and come back out to the living room (can’t remember exactly what it was, this was years ago). as soon as I rounded the corner she’s freaking out, hitting and whatnot, threatening to call the cops. I had heard that in these situations pretty much whoever calls first is the one in the right, so I did. 911 operator told me to lock myself in the bathroom, so I did.
Cops come, x answers the door and they ask where I am. She tells the cop I’m in the bathroom and he gets on his radio and says, “Suspect has locked himself in the bathroom.” At this point, I realize I’m fucked. I tried explaining the situation but the x had already convinced them I was in the wrong. I tried explaining that the 911 operator told me to lock myself in the bathroom. That didn’t do any good.
I got hauled off and pr’ed the following Monday. While the DV trial is going on, the city files a no contact order that only goes one way. That means the x can call, txt, email all she wants, but if I respond, I get arrested. I don’t know why but in two separate occasions I responded. she convinced me both times that it was OK, she loved me and wanted to be together. Both times she called the cops. I know, I’m a moron. the original dv charge had been dropped (due to a wonderful lawyer, a recording of my 911 call and a recording of the previously mentioned fantastic police work by the officers that first night), but since I violated the no contact order…twice…I was still fucked. I lost my gun rights for a total of 5 years. Lots of $$$ in fines. I lost my job. I spent a total of 45 days in jail over the whole ordeal. I contracted a totally unknown skin infection virus never seen before while in jail. I lost a ton of friends and not to mention the constant reminders from friends like, “Hey dumbass, we warned you,” etc.
It’s all a lesson learned, I guess. If she wasn’t pregnant with what I thought was my child, then I would never have violated the no contact orders. It turns out the kid’s not mine, so it was pretty much all for nothing. My advice? Pay attention to the cheater signs. Constant nagging, accusing and checking emails and Facebook constantly. If I just realized how horrible of a person she was I never would have moved in with her….
Oh, and fuck the police.
Not my story, but my best friend/current roommate.
He had a bad streak of picking the crazies for a few years. He has many stories. Anyway, lets call this guy Terry. He was a pretty shy man back then, he doesn’t like confrontation. Terry was dating this Korean girl for a while named Jimin. Jimin was a bit different, quite racist actually, Terry told me it was apart of their culture. I didn’t know any different so I just believed him. (She and her family would refer to white people as ‘big nose’).