16. Wait, what?
I was the primary breadwinner in the house I.e my money was for mortgage and bills and food, her money was for her clothing and her money was hers for clothes and entertainment. One day, I got yelled at for buying a video game because ” we couldn’t afford it”. After she scratched the shit out of me (I was assaulting her by being “in the way of her leaving”) she called my supervisor and had me kicked out of my own house. She was late to a comedy ahow, you see. Where the tickets were 60 dollars each. For her and her 3 friends.
The kicker was that while I was kicked out, my grandfather died. While I was at his funeral, she moved all my shit into the driveway.
I was young, so was my ex, she began hitting me when things didn’t go her way, which became pretty often; I wanted to leave but we had a kid together. One day she flipped out at me when I was heading off to work, she wouldn’t let me leave; I shoved her out of the way and left.
As I was pulling down the street I was pulled over and charged with domestic violence, I was jailed for two days and a TPO/no contact order was placed on us by the judge. Within 5 minutes of showing up at my parents house (after getting released form jail) she was calling me and threatening me with all sorts of crazy shit if I didn’t come back.
I eventually came back and one random Saturday she flipped out because she was hungry and “too tired to cook” after I got home from working a 12 hour shift digging holes (she didn’t work but our shelves were well stocked with groceries), I refused to take her out too eat. I fed and played with my son while purposely ignoring her that night, after I put the kid to bed I went to sleep; she called the cops and told them I broke into the house and was threatening her. The cops came, arrested me for violating the TPO and harassment; I ended up spending 120 days in jail while she blew through my money and credit cards.
We are both remarried now, I’d still love to see someone light that bitch on fire though.
Was a few months after a break up. Ex hears I’ve finally brought someone else home. She enters my house and comes up to my room. Rooms locked so she proceeds to go grab a hammer. I suppose she was being quiet as to bust me in the act. She (this little 4’9″) thing stars knocking down my bedroom door with a hammer. I was in shock till I saw the middle of the door fall out. Then I jumped up and opened the door. After taking a few blows from the hammer I disarmed her and quickly let my guest out of probably one of the most awkward and terrifying hook up of her life. Upon reentering my house I tried to get her to leave. She would not so I called the police. She ended up hitting me with some kind of metal object on the head while thw pos show up. Drawing a good amount of blood and giving me a wicked headache.
When the police showed up I was made fun of and told ‘what you just piss off girls and when you want to get rid of them you call us to do the dirty work’. Like I had some option other than violence.
My soon to be ex wife was diabolical and cunning about the daily abuse I took from her.
She was 11 years older than me, ( When we first got together I thought it was hot- big mistake!). It’s not the physical things about abuse that get to you, it’s the mind games. It’s was slow and crippling process for me. I literally packed my bags and ran one night, and I’ve never been happier of felt more free since getting away from her. Heres how the stages of the abuse I received happened:
First, The Isolation. Turned me against my friends and family, made me believe it was just us versus the world, “let’s move far away so no one can bother us again.”
2nd-The breakdown of independence. About once an hour, all day every day,(for years) she would start making small mean comments about how terrible I was in bed, make fun my physical appearance and degrade and humiliate me.
When I would tell her this bothered me, she would insult my masculinity saying that real men can take barbs. It began to grow much much worse. She would get up in my face and taunt me when she would see i was upset or frustrated and if she succeeded in making me mad, she would insult and break down me even further for even thinking it was ok, “its a womans right to take things out on a man, they’re supposed to be able to take it.”
Last-The abuse It escelated from there. Her trying to start physcial confrontation every day with me was the norm. Throwing silverware at me, getting her face as close to mine as she could and begging me to hit her “so could please call the cops and have the house to herself.”