My last ex was pretty controlling but I never guessed she would resort to violence when I tried to break up with her. I sat her down and explained to her that I didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore and when I tried to leave she dug her fingernails into my arm and wouldn’t let me go. I tried to remove her hand but she dug her fingernails in even harder. I pushed her off of me, at which point she looked at me like I hit a small puppy because “men aren’t allowed to push girls!”… So she retaliated by punching me in the nose. Blood was getting everywhere and instead of trying to calm her down again I ran out her bedroom and burst into her roommate’s room where she and her boyfriend were hanging out. They knew what was going on immediately. The boyfriend restrained my girlfriend and gave me enough time to run out the front door. The roommate ran after me saying, “I don’t care how big you are! You can’t take that abuse and feel fine.” I broke down right there and wept like a schoolgirl. Glad that’s over with and I’ve found someone who makes me very happy.
We had an argument, and she suddenly escalated and started to hit me repeatedly. This included low blows.
I immediately left, called it off, and told her to get out of my life.
She then proceeded to stalk and harass me over the next several months. It was annoying but mostly harmless- she would mostly leave me degrading notes in various places, such as my car.
It all occurred in public areas, up until she managed to leave me a message in my home while I was away. I was terrified that she had been there. I didn’t feel safe at home afterwards.
I proceeded to obtain a domestic violence restraining order against her in court, and won the case. She’s been out of my life since.
None of her actions indicated to me that she wanted to severely injure me, but she did want control over me- the ability to lash out at me when she wanted to. She had little respect for my personal boundaries.
The violence was primarily of an emotional/terrorizing nature rather than a constant physical threat.