Chrissy Stockton

Geminis want to be overwhelmed with passion. It doesn’t even really matter if you’re skilled at what you’re doing, as long as you act like you’re really into it you’ll blow them away.

Here are seven of my favorite true crime writeups from The Lineup.

It’s hard to argue that Scorpios are the best lay in the Zodiac.

“I don’t do well flirting in front of my friends, I just feel weird. I’ve had girls approach me in bars while out in my group, and I just kind of ignore them.”

“I started finding more women attractive.”

Till death do us part.

Cancer: smother you with a pillow and then live with your taxidermied body for years like in ‘Psycho’.

You are more likely to be infected by flesh-eating bacteria than you are to be struck by lightning.

People continue to go missing around town, and your neighbor has put out the most realistic Halloween decorations you’ve ever seen.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

“Are they creative? Are they boring? Sensual? Playful? I love discovering who they are.”

Aries are all about public sex.

Aries relationships are like drugs. They either kill you or give you the best feeling of your life.

Geminis can be tricky because they usually have no problem committing to you, when they’re passionate about something they jump in with both feet. The problem is getting them to stay committed to you.

“I kill every single spider in our apartment.”

When your ex complains because someone did to them what they did to you. 😒

“I miss her laugh. Then I miss her. Then I get second thoughts. But then I come to my senses and realize it was for the best.”

Some of these are hard.