I Hope It’s Enough That I’m Admitting I Like You

This might sound like a list of nothings to you, but this list right here, it means everything to me.
This might sound like a list of nothings to you, but this list right here, it means everything to me.
I remember hearing the sirens and seeing the ambulance’s lights in the distance, but my focus was elsewhere.
See, my head is full of imaginary scenarios, and false hope that takes up too much space. Because even though we ended a long time ago, I still have a tiny bit of hope inside of me. I still believe. And that’s what makes it worse. Because you don’t owe me anything anymore.
I think many of us have been so afraid to be self oriented and be called selfish for most of our lives that we have made a habit for living for our world and other people, and self sacrificed our real dreams.
I’m sick of hearing people say, “Not everyone can” and shorting themselves the experience of being successful at what they love. I am tired of the excuses we make to stay locked into things we have outgrown or never wished to be in in the first place. This isn’t a dress rehearsal for life.
You used to love the way they made fun of your dance moves and they way they bear hugged you constantly. But now, all those little things you used to love about them, annoy you. You don’t find it charming or funny anymore, you just want it all to stop.
You are calling yourself worthless and weak again because you feel like you are taking too long to heal too long to be ‘normal’ again and it makes me ache inside to watch you tear yourself down this way.
You’ll eventually pick up on the unusual tone of how he speaks of her. Maybe he brings her up too frequently in conversations. Or maybe it’s the opposite– each time you ask a casual question about her, he wears a pained expression.
Even if your partner swears that they’re fine, you know when they’re pissed off at you by the way that they’re fidgeting and by the fake smile they’re wearing.
This year, something revolutionary happened to my love life: I moved to New York.
You’ve put the past behind you. You’ve let go. Whether a person or town, a bad memory or heartache, you’ve learned that you cannot cling to the familiar anymore.
Sit on his lap when you’re out in public together. He’ll want you, but he won’t be able to have you, which will make him extra hard.
It’s easy to get naked with you, to lie in your bed, whisper words that have no meaning in your ear, but that’s not what I’m after. I want someone who touches my soul more than my body.
You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t find yourself in. You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t love yourself in.
Love does not mean losing or sacrificing the goals you had before the relationship, and leaving someone to fulfill those goals does not negate the love you have for him/her.
We cover up pieces of ourselves and unveil them little by little, until he can finally see there is no such thing as the ‘cool girl’ because we’re all a little bit crazy.