Timmy Parker

Here are a bunch of hilarious ideas that take very little effort, because there is nothing more spooky, scary, and downright horrifying than having to spend more then 20 minutes on anything in 2014.

1. I promise that when we binge watch shows on Netflix, I won’t skip ahead.

Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me.

She understands that lasting love requires patience and will often be imperfect, which is a valuable mindset considering relationships nowadays so often have the highest of expectations, but the lowest of tolerance.

Your great grandmother’s ring and your favorite childhood blanket are off limits, but here are some more reasonable recommendations.

About half way through the dinner the husband politely stands up and taps his glass for attention. He announced that his wife of 15 years has been cheating in him for over a year. The entire place stood still in shock.

When my father and grandfather both approached me for help in family affairs.

Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.

Pictures/cameras. I just captured this ONE moment in time that I can now look at for the rest of my life.

For the women out there, pulling hair from your butt crack after a shower.

There’s a special occasion that can be commercialized almost every month.

That people can think in languages other than my native one.

The pressure on performance. As a guy, I feel like I’m on stage, and I gotta put on a great show. Otherwise I’ll get booed off, or I’ll leave the crowd…unsatisfied.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I’m just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

World’s 4th biggest city, 1st biggest ego.

Whales have lifelong friends that they visit regularly.

There’s a lot happening in the world at any given time. A LOT.

Glad she got caught, however, not so sure I support the way these two dudes handled it.