1. I promise that when we binge watch shows on Netflix, I won’t skip ahead.
2. Okay, I might skip ahead, but I’ll never spoil anything for you and I’ll act surprised at the good parts.
3. I promise to keep my phone screen face up and without a password, because I don’t have anything to hide.
4. I promise to show you off, whether it means bringing you around my friends & co-workers, or posting our pictures on Instagram.
5. I promise to continue doing the things I did to win your heart, well after you’re mine.
6. I promise I will never treat you like a cliche. I will never expect you to do anything just because you’re a “woman.” Those tropes are bullshit anyway.
7. I promise that every time we fight, I’ll order us make-up pizza.
8. I promise I will remember your coffee order and, when you drink too much whiskey the night before, I’ll bring you your coffee bedside… even if I’m hungover, too.
9. I promise we won’t fall into tired old routines and that I will look for new and interesting ways to keep our relationship fun.
10. I promise I will fight for you and when I say I’m committed, you won’t have to worry about whether or not I mean it. I will make it important to earn and keep your trust.
11. Marilyn Monroe was wrong but I promise I won’t stop caring about you when you’re at your worst and I’ll always work to bring out your best. Everybody needs to be cared for AND pushed.
12. I will call when I say I’m going to call. I will ask you to let me know that you’ve gotten home safe. I will reply to your texts cause I’d want you to reply to mine. My phone game is strong.
13. I promise to let the past be the past. I will not ask about your ex and I will not talk about mine unless you ask.
14. I promise that even when you fall out with your friends I will not bad-mouth them, because we both know it’s probably temporary. They were here before me. Respect.
15. I promise to spend enough time downtown if you know what I mean…
16. I promise to treat our relationship like it’s our relationship, that it’s private, that it’s between you and I. I won’t let the world spoil it or dictate it. I’ll understand that it’s you and I together.
17. I promise not to judge you for how long you take to say “stop” when I’m pouring your glass of wine.
18. I promise I will order you a side of fries, not because I wouldn’t want to share my fries with you, but because I know you, girl, and those fries are what we came to this restaurant for.
19. I promise I will not just tolerate your family, but I will make an effort to know your parents, your siblings, your cousins, because anyone that is important to you has to be amazing and I want to know them, too.
20. Fried chicken. I will make it and you will eat and love it. Also vodka tonics because my vodka tonic game is strong. Nearly as strong as my phone game.
21. I promise I will do everything I can to not be a “typical guy.” I’m as bored with those stereotypes as you are.
22. I promise if you’re sick, I will go to that Italian restaurant you like and pick up some soup for you and I won’t even be annoyed when you tell me you feel awful a hundred times a day. I know you feel awful, I’ve been sick, too.
23. I promise to like your Instagram photo when it’s at nine, and it looks all messy because you see NINE different usernames, and a tenth will make it say, simply, ’10 likes’ — because I know these little things matter.