Originally seen on this AskReddit.
Every time I go to a wedding all I can think of is “they’re going to have sex tonight”.
Sniff finger after putting it someplace bad.
I don’t know if it’s true, imagining yourselves performing live in front of a huge crowd when listening to songs.
Everybody changes the story just a tiny bit to make it a better story. Till one day you believe that’s how it happened.
Getting satisfaction from squeezing blackheads or big zits etc.
Hope for some sort of robbery/shoot out during school where you single-handedly beat the antagonist, all in front of your crush who will then fall in love with you.
Going to the bathroom just to wipe.
very unfairly judging people at first glance
For the women out there, pulling hair from your butt crack after a shower.
I fart myself awake at least once a month.
When a door is closing try to quickly squeeze in without touching it, in a Indiana Jones like manner.
Cup your hand against your torso in the shower, let that cup fill with water, then let that shit splash on the floor.
Have imaginary conversations where you inexplicably win the argument.
I think of embarrassing things I have done in my past and make a disgusted facial expression and hope no one saw it.
Wish that I would get hit by a car on the way to work. Not enough to kill me or maim me, but to get a couple of weeks off……
Start a song over from the beginning if you mess up the words too badly.
Verbally narrate your life when no one else is around.
Run up the stairs on all fours like an animal
Consider what life would be like as the opposite sex. Example: If I was a girl, guys would be buying ME drinks. Etc.
Run up the last bit of stairs like something/someone is chasing you. “Not this time, asshole!”
Read books and imagine themselves starring in the movie adaptation.
Sniff their underwears to find a fresh pair.
Verbally assault inanimate objects.
If you don’t want to wash your hands, you run the water just in case someone is listening
When I’m in bed I imagine a love scenario with me and my crush that will never happen.
flick your boogers
think of something to put on social media then get a crisis of confidence on the funniness or coolness and delete it…
Feeling like an impostor that’s in danger of being ‘found out’ by others (like in my personality and profession)
Pee in the shower.
everyone makes excuses for themselves. if someone else lies, they’re horrible. but if YOU lie it was for a legitimate purpose, etc.