Twilight Freaks Me Out

When Twilight became a bestseller, I bet Stephenie Meyer was like, “Uh, are you sure? You did read it, right? Okayyyyyyyyy. Can I cash the check now?”

11 Brutally Honest Pick Up Lines

I’ve been rejected twice in this bar already and you’re kind of my last resort. When I walked in here, I saw you and thought to myself, “I’ll take them home if there is absolutely no one else.” So… your place or mine?!

Why I Think Online Dating Is Stupid

Online dating is dumb. I’ve never been on a date with someone I met exclusively online. I have spent some time perusing online dating sites, and once, I set up a mock profile. I was completely put off by the whole experience to the point that I can barely fathom why any sociable 20-something who isn’t completely deranged would bother with the farce that is online dating.

Times I Felt Creepy

I wasn’t crying, okay? Sometimes my eyes just water. It’s called Juicy Eye. And it’s a condition. And everyone should really get off it because the thing about conditions is that if you make fun of someone with a condition, karma will see to it that you later develop a worse condition.

Woman Unable To Close Her Eyes For 6 Years

In 2005, Marilyn Leisz underwent minor surgery to correct a “congenital defect in her eyes” and touch up some scarring that was the result of a previous surgery. “The original reason was to improve my vision,” Leisz told the Today show. Quite unfortunately, she came out of the surgery unable to close her eyes. “I feel like my whole life has been stolen from me,” she said.

Scientology Continues To Be Creepy, Take Over The World

Scientology honestly feels like a giant joke that’s being played on society. A religion created solely for celebrities and rich people is a genius and utterly terrifying idea. With their celebrity centers, fancy parties and steep payments, the religion has preyed upon the wealthy’s need to feel special and V.I.P. by creating an enclave for the elite.