Mélanie Berliet

When evaluating potential life mates, you focus on their actual strengths instead of fixating on superficial traits like height, weight, breast size, butt shape, or bicep circumference. (At least, you take their actual strengths into serious consideration.)

Why does my stable, loving relationship sometimes feel like a prison?

1. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re awesome.

“When chickens have teeth!”

Real men tell us how they really feel about a tradition that’s rarely questioned.

They’re terrified of breaking up—from a logistical standpoint.

A reputable professional dedicated to physical fitness tells us what we’re getting wrong about eating well.

Everyone’s parents fucking loved you.

A little pleasure delay goes a long way.

Reaching the point where you know in your heart that you’re not going to break up, even during the nastiest fights.

Was the sex this awesome for you with anyone else?

What makes you smile without fail?

You assume that true love should be easy.

My 35th birthday looms ahead, taunting me with the promise of missed opportunities and lifelong regrets if I don’t spread my legs and invite some sperm in stat.

“Will you hold me?”

If you want a healthy long-term relationship, you can’t pick and choose which pieces of your partner’s past to accept while dismissing others (like that one particularly loathsome cunt they almost proposed to in college) as repugnant or unmentionable.

Love is spending ten minutes neither of you has lazing about in bed some mornings after the alarm rings before you pick up your phones and dive into the day ahead.

You can get wasted and wallow in the pain of your hangover the next day without caring for anyone other than yourself.