22 Weird Ways You Know You’re (Kind Of) An Actual Grownup

Red Dress
Red Dress

1. You honestly don’t care whether someone went to a “good” school or has a “good” job. Instead, you care whether or not they’re a quality human who can make you laugh and stuff like that.

2. When evaluating potential life mates, you focus on their actual strengths instead of fixating on superficial traits like height, weight, breast size, butt shape, or bicep circumference. (At least, you take their actual strengths into serious consideration.)

3. You’re less likely to get blackout drunk because you know that drinking your face off leads to being massively hungover and you’d rather not waste an entire day recuperating.

4. You’re more risk averse in general—not because you’re boring but because you’re no longer totally reckless. You’re suddenly aware that your actions have consequences, and that you’re not actually invincible.

5. That said, you know that letting loose is critical to leading a happy, fulfilling life. So you do get too drunk sometimes, and you might push a boundary here and there. The difference is that your spontaneity is rooted in mindfulness to a certain extent.

6. You no longer entertain silly wish-I-were-a-super-model thoughts because you’re relatively comfortable with the looks you’ve got.

7. Plus, you know that being super model beautiful wouldn’t fix your problems. Gisele grade looks might even lead to a few additional headaches in life.

8. You also realize that being hot wouldn’t make you good in bed, or guarantee mind-blowing sex.

9. Great sex is something you’ve finally figured out, and it mostly hinges upon chemistry, confidence, and comfort—not friction from two six-packs rubbing against each other.

10. You don’t give two shits about what is or isn’t “trendy.” You’d rather invest in a timeless piece of clothing than fall for something of-the-moment like an “it” bag.

11. You’re pretty much over high-end labels and all clothes and accessories splattered with insignia. In fact, you kind of feel like a fool for letting Abercrombie & Fitch, Juicy Couture or any other brand exploit your chest and ass as advertising space in years past.

12. The novelty and excitement of getting ready to go out at night has almost entirely worn off. The “going out” section of your wardrobe no longer really exists because you tend to rock your everyday gear to hang out with friends no matter the setting.

13. You rarely fight with any of your siblings because you’ve grown to appreciate them for exactly who they are as individuals. You even lean on them for advice, especially when it comes to dealing with your parents.

14. When they’re not driving you nuts, you feel sincerely grateful to your parents for sacrificing so much on your behalf and for dealing with all of your crap over the years.

15. You actually want to brush your teeth regularly, sometimes even more than twice a day.

16. When it comes to skincare, you’re more proactive than reactive. In other words, you wash your face and apply special creams to offset aging, not just to combat zits.

17. You finally understand why dry shampoo is so amazing.

18. You’re also a big fan of hats, headbands, pigtails and any other clever method of avoiding the tedium of hair washing for one more day.

19. You schedule your own annual physicals and dental checkups without prompting from mom or dad. Usually.

20. You count yourself a master of calendar reminders. You’ve also made it a point to start showing up to all your appointments instead of flaking at the last minute because it suddenly seems super important not to be rude or unreliable.

21. On Sunday afternoons, you find yourself wondering what will be on 60 Minutes later. You’re also partial to the educational programming on channels like History, Discovery, and National Geographic.

22. You finally see the value in saving some money because the future doesn’t seem all that distant anymore. You plan to start setting a certain percentage of each paycheck aside like your parents taught you some time really soon, maybe even now-ish. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Mélanie Berliet

I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Click here to learn more!

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