23. I SENT HER SOME BABY CLOTHING AFTER HER ABORTION

“My ex is/was this very pro-life girl. She got pregnant in college (stupidity on both parties), got an abortion because she didn’t want to ruin her life. Cried for weeks (before and after). A month later, I find out that she’s cheating on me, we have a very VERY eventful breakup. Six to seven months after the breakup, she gets an anonymous gift of baby clothing shipped to her. Last I heard, she’s been using antidepressants.”

24. POURED LUBE ALL OVER HER BLONGINGS AND DUMPED HER OFF AT THE TRAIN STATION

“Ex-girlfriend left the bar with another guy. I spent the rest of the night getting diligently drunk. Went back to our hotel room and poured lube all over her backpack, clothes, glasses, and in between every page of her passport. I then opened a liter bottle of water and positioned it in her bag such that it would pour out when she laid the bag down. When she got back the next morning, I walked her to the train station, dumped her, and left her there on the steps with a slowly leaking backpack. Probably one of the more aggressively immature things I’ve ever done, but damned if it didn’t make me feel better.”