16. I dumped a giant vial of fine purple glitter all over his bed

“I once made the mistake of sleeping with a roommate. It lasted for about 3 months before I decided that I wanted to take things to the next level. He treated me like a girlfriend in many ways already so I thought this would be no big deal. I was wrong. He told me that he didn’t want to date me because I wasn’t ‘trophy wife material’ and he didn’t plan on being that successful (enough to score a Twife at least) until he was 30. He then proceeded to take a girl’s virginity, knock her up, ask her to get an abortion and whine about it to me while asking for a booty call. I dumped a giant vial of fine purple glitter all over his bed and laundry/washing machine. The man hated glitter, what can I say? No Regrets.”