Lisa Woods

“Dad had to explain the difference between “stepbrother” and “half-brother” to the daughter and why getting knocked up by a half-brother is not necessarily a genetically responsible thing to do.”

Libra…Bullshitters

Every sign has their own gifts. Embrace yours.

Be who you truly are.

“Just love them, seriously. Tell them you love them. Take their face in your hands and say the words.”

Cancer: White

“I searched for a friend and found them nowhere. I was a friend and found them everywhere.”

“Gemini is left alone. She’s already dead inside and her life is punishment enough.”

“He told me he doesn’t bother memorizing anyone’s name until after three months of knowing them.”

These are pretty basic, ladies. I’m surprised there are people out there doing this stuff.

“I love her but she’s going to die alone.”

“Put out my hand for him to hold and he high fived me.”

These stories are both beautiful and incredibly sad. Bring a tissue.

These things don’t make you cute. They make you an asshole.

They say that you should only marry for true love…what if “they” are wrong?

It was her lips, it was her enthusiasm, she kissed me like she wanted to kiss me forever, we could not even stop to breath…we kissed and kissed until the bar closed. I could just not get enough.

If you want to get married some day…maybe don’t read these.

These are literally the best of the worst dating stories you will ever read.