Thought Catalog

25 Things Chronically Single People Do That Explain Exactly Why They’re Single

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Vil Son

1. 

Treat the opposite sex like they’re a totally different species that must be translated to be understood and conflating relationships/sex appeal with their self-worth. Neither of these mistakes is exclusive to any one gender.

Apayan

beetlejuice

2. 

Whine loudly, publicly, and constantly about being single.

Certified_Megadong

beetlejuice

3. 

There’s a single guy in the office who is always complaining about how he’s never had a girlfriend, like full on whining. He comes across as so desperate, and propositions pretty much every female he meets.

Emily_Starke

beetlejuice

4. 

Just in general creating pointless, unnecessary drama.

Get into a good relationship, seemingly goes well for a few weeks or months, then oh shit they like another person that they hung out with once and they declare “understands them better”. Or oh shit they can’t decide between a current partner or last flavor-of-the-month partner. Or oh shit they suddenly think they’re not ready for a relationship. Or (oh shit) x_4, (oh shit) x_5…(oh shit) x_n.

Then they either stay single for a while because people begin to catch on to the drama…or they find a potential partner not in the know.

sexualramen

beetlejuice

5. 

I’ve had friends that become so enamored with girls when they first start talking to them – convinced that they walk on water, that they’re going to change their life, that they are the most beautiful of all of God’s creations…

Bleh. They’d then go out on a date with the girl, be way too over the top and nervous, she’d get creeped out and then they’d complain to me how they just want to “treat someone right” and are the “romantic type everyone claims to want.”

sparrow125

beetlejuice

6.

Post “I want to fuck a cutie so bad” at least once a day on their Twitter.

M., this one’s about you.

milkyopal

beetlejuice

7.

Not just the opposite sex, but a lot of chronically single people tend to sort of fall in love with the other person even before the first date. They “try” very hard at the non-relationship and want to be very invested in it right from the start. Meanwhile, the date comes nowhere close to reciprocating these feelings. This causes the chronically single to appear needy, desperate, and high maintenance. And the date promptly proceeds to ghost them.

I went into first dates with basically one goal. Determine if I ever wanted to see her ever again. That’s it. I wasn’t worried about happily ever after. I was simply worried about whether there would be a second date or not. And if there wasn’t, no sweat off my back because there was no relationship and my contact with her was an extremely minor footnote in my life at best.

dopkick

beetlejuice

8.

I know a girl that firmly believes that once she is in a relationship, the whole boyfriend world should revolve around her and her only. Like the boyfriend have to be the ones doing the romantic thing, he has to ask her permission to hang out with his buddies because if he goes and she’s alone it’s a betrayal, she thinks her whole life should be a rom com with drama and the boyfriend have to put up with all the bullshit she throws and all.

This is super weird because she seems like a good friend, I mean, I never had to complain about her, but she really is a shitty girlfriend.

Matrozi

beetlejuice

9.

Have completely rigid and uncompromisable expectations about relationships and what they want in a partner.

If you can’t be a little flexible with another human being then you’re not going to be able to maintain a healthy relationship.

cmc

beetlejuice

10.

Be very proud of their unwillingness to change for anyone or anything.

Rekdon

beetlejuice

11.

Those that don’t understand that when the lust wears off that’s when the real relationship begins.

And “soul mates” are created, not found.

RanarbyBudge

beetlejuice

12.

I had a friend of a friend who would come to the bar with us. He would wait till a girl was “drunk enough” and then he would snuggle up her casual like, and LICK her from the base of the neck to the ear.

That was his legit way of picking up women because he had “a great tongue.”

SamoftheMorgan

beetlejuice

13.

I have some female friends who have nothing going for them, they just have a full-time job and drink wine when they get home. They always complain that they can’t find interesting guys who will make their lives adventurous.

PM_ME_YO_MUM

beetlejuice

14.

I had a friend in university who had a strict set of rules for how her ideal man should look like (and act like).

  • Tall. At least 6’5. She was sort of tall, 5’8, so I can understand her wanting a tall guy. She likes to go out and wear heels, so wanting someone still taller.. I get that. Then, when I got together with my ex who was 6’4, she tried her hardest to belittle him. Never understood it.
  • He had to have rippling muscles. She took good care of herself, but was over-weight.
  • He had to have a certain fashion sense. She liked this one guy in our year for a solid 3 semesters before he bought a new laptop bag, which was ugly in her opinion. She went off of him immediately.
  • He had to have a degree. Understandable. We were both in the midst of our law degrees. However, she only wanted someone who’d get first class honours. She was barely scraping a pass.
  • He had to be romantic and treat her to x, y, and z. She was seeing a guy casually who was a pharmacist, but he didn’t buy her enough presents, and didn’t take her to enough expensive restaurants, so she strung him along, and then humiliated him and left him.

If she was exactly what she wanted in a guy, but in female form, you can sort of understand her wanting all those things. But more often than not, she didn’t come close, herself, to what she wanted.

She had a few rather lovely guys who wanted to date her, but she always said no for one superficial reason or the other. She refused to change her list.

She found it very hilarious when I met my SO, who doesn’t have a college degree and has a manual, hard-working job.

I’m no longer friends with her.

ThePotatoCouncil

beetlejuice

15.

Misandry/Misogny

“All men are assholes. Why can’t I find a rich guy so I won’t have to work anymore?”

“All women are bitches. I bought them dinner, how dare they try to stop me using them for the one thing they’re good for?”

Computermaster

beetlejuice

16.

Whenever people say “you’d better be able to hold a good conversation” then offer absolutely no information about their personality or interest and respond with single word answers.

The_Jakealope

beetlejuice

17.

I saw a guy on Facebook say that tampons should be taxed as a luxury, because women can choose whether or not to have periods. He added that it can be controlled with birth control, which is true for some people but not everyone.

He was putting it as if periods were just a fun time of the month and you get to pick when you want it to happen. He and I are no longer friends. He is also still single.

shiann121

beetlejuice

18.

I have a friend who goes a little bit something like this:

(Watching a movie where a nice guy does something romantic) Friend: Why can’t I have a boyfriend that does (xyz) for me?? Wahhhh

(Friend meets nice guy, nice guy is interested in relationship, friend is all in love, friend seems to panic for whatever reason and goes into total flake mode. Friend quits answering texts/calls/FB messages from guy and becomes a total ghost until the guy gives up.)

2 days later: (Friend writing on FB) Why can’t I meet a guy who actually wants a relationship? Wahhhhh

Rinse and repeat.

Pikawing

beetlejuice

19.

When they try to play “hard to get” like they are in a Nicolas Sparks book. That’s not going to make him try harder, it’s going to make him think you aren’t interested and move on.

nails_for_breakfast

beetlejuice

20.

~*~ if u cant handle me at my worst u dont deserve me at my best ~*~

Whind_Soull

beetlejuice

21.

When one person gives the other “the silent treatment” – hours, days or weeks of not speaking.

The silent treatment is not only a roadblock to open communication, but it’s childish, as well – a non sequitur for building a lasting relationship.

Back2Bach

beetlejuice

22.

My girlfriend has a friend that is funny and good to be around. She has just had a failure to launch and it is no one’s fault but her own. Time and time again she stacks the cards against herself.

I don’t think she understands consequences. Her parents always bail her out and she is almost 30. Her parents are definitely not made of money either, so I feel bad for them. She’s at bars until close every weekend. She is always broke. Doesn’t have a plan. And is gaining weight and losing charm and never stops complaining about being single.

I would love to see her turn her life around, but I don’t know what I can do to help her. When I look at her I always think of the time she got two puppies and locked them in the bathroom 20 hours a day. She eventually rehomed them and they would not leave the bathroom of their new home. They later died of parvo because she didn’t get their shots because they were too expensive. But boy did the $600 Lucchese boots she bought that month look good.

thekylem

beetlejuice

23.

I know a few girls who cannot see past one crush at a time.

They basically come to a decision about the guy they currently like and then will consider no other options.

They basically act as if they are fully committed to this unaware guy and if he starts dating someone else it’s as if he was cheating on them.

Also worse is if they start dating the poor guy their expectations are through the roof while he still on the “let’s see how this cup of coffee goes” stage.

HouseofKeo

beetlejuice

24.

My friend is going to stay single forever. I love her to death but god damn I’d never date her. There are so many random stories about her. She made a scene at a movie date because the guy didn’t think to hold her hand, literally screamed in his face and threw popcorn while security had to be called.

She told me about how she cussed a guy out a restaurant because he made a comment about one of the waitresses weight, saying something like “who the fuck are you to judge and shame someone’s body?” then she texted me a couple of hours later complaining about all the fat men she comes across on Tinder.

She dates three or four guys at a time, calling the three she’s less serious about “backup boyfriends”. They’re just extra guys she hopes she can keep getting drinks and dinner from but she’ll literally be texting her “real boyfriend” in the middle of dinner dates with those guys. Then gets super pissed if they have other girls in their lives. “I know I do it but I don’t want them to do it.”

And there’s the classic “all men are pigs if they have a certain body preference” criticism while she has a laundry list of physical traits that a guy must have to do date her. (must be a doctor too).

I love her but she’s going to die alone.

I_Fet_Fet_Yaps

beetlejuice

25.

Women who refuse to make the first move on a guy. You are busy waiting around to get swept up on your feet, that you don’t take control of your own life.

illini02 TC mark

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