If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a relationship.

You still don’t understand how LMFAO or Skrillex qualify as music. It just sounds like dying.

Is it possible to have friends who are purely for the Internet, and others you get to interact with out in actual society?

I know people in my actual life who, at the ripe old age of 24, say to me in all seriousness that they can “no longer” fulfill their dream of…

Giggle alert: the infamous sex scene between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman transpires at the 69-minute mark.

Naked parties, naked runs, and other acts of synchronized stripping in the middle of campus. Usually occurs during finals week.

You’re old enough to know that hurting yourself doesn’t feel good anymore but you’re too young to know how to really take care of yourself.

Strike up a conversation with a stranger.

I hope that in spite of all this you’ll speak well of me and I hope it’s with a smile, the kind of smile that hides a little something at…

In the case of “Zombie,” no one really knows more than ten words to it, anyway, so as long as you can shout “Zombay-ay-ay!” and “In your head! In your…

The sale products are often in fairly odd places, such as the caps at the ends of rows where no one usually looks, so go hunting for them (or ask…

If something is 120 calories with 48 calories from fat, that’s 40 percent calories from fat, which you can figure out if you cross-multiply.

13. Killing Them Softly. The movie slapped with a rare F Cinemascore grade from audiences, mostly because whoever decided to market it to the mass public was an idiot.

A gift certificate to their local neighborhood drug dealer, condoms, a body pillow to replace the boyfriend they don’t have, worldwide acceptance of homosexuality, and, of course, a blowjob.

When a friend asks you why you can’t come to an all-night rager, you simply send them a picture of Lindsay Lohan circa today and write, “Because I don’t want…

I really wish that Laura Linney’s brother murdered her at the end. They need at least one plotline where love actually results in murder.

Pretty Facebook Girls, you are the unicorns of the social media world. Your life is a blur of candid photos that somehow come out looking like something that would win…

Oh, you’re going to just tell your crush how you really feel about them? You’re just going to do that and ignore my advice, which was don’t text them back…

Now it’s time to check out and also time to ask yourself: “What’s my highest-performing investment of the year?” The answer is Chipotle.

You end up busy with work, friends, family, dating, and your trivia league, but how much down time do you have?

The overachiever is always the first person in the seminar to use words like “hermeneutics.” They come to class with detailed notes, typed, of course, so as to more easily…

A tour through the DMB catalogue reveals not only lines dripping in sexual innuendo, but a peculiar fascination with and celebration of cunnilingus.

I’m afraid of oncoming trains and that feeling right before a train approaches and the wind is blowing all around you, when you have no choice but to submit to…