January Nelson

You should stop chasing him when you start crying over him. 

I don’t believe in ghosts. However I have a hard time explaining how a metal folding chair that was set up folded itself up in the basement behind me while I was watching TV as a child. I fucking flew up the stairs.

Jack has been portrayed as the sexy, animal loving, Jason Momoa doppelganger — but in reality, he has said some unforgivable things. 

My intense fear of strangers is the reason why I splurged on one of those fancy, fifty dollar doorbell cameras. That way, when someone stood on my porch, I could see whether they were a threat to me.

Ouchi managed to say, ‘I can’t take it anymore… I am not a guinea pig.’ However, the doctors kept treating him and taking measures to keep him alive, which only ensured a very slow and very painful death.

Play hard to get. No thanks. If you’re gonna ghost me for days at a time and then get pissed off when I don’t respond in .5 seconds then that’s not my problem.

I am old enough to remember how things really were, but my sister and brother believe the rewritten version.

VIRGO: You won’t accept help from anyone — or even admit you need help in the first place. 

Ursula: I won’t stop until I make you lose your voice.

You’re going to post political statuses about the crumbling state of our country. 

Wear your best underwear to work.

SCORPIO – Watching too much television, making too much of a mess, expecting to be mothered. 

I’m fun to fuck — but not to fuck over. 

You care too much about being the best partner, being the best worker, being the best human.

There’s countless stories from multiple coworkers of weird shit happening while they were there alone (the sound of general commotion being heard through walls, someone whispering directly into their ear, doors and padlocks swinging for no reason, lights having a mind of their own, etc.)

Clefairy was going to be the mascot for Pokemon before they decided on Pikachu.

Planning is going to take up a huge chunk of your time — and you’re already busy enough. 

You’re stronger than you realize.