Holly Riordan

If we fast forward to love, we’ll end up missing out on precious moments that only new couples have.

“I was almost kidnapped when I was four and it is one of my most vivid memories.”

“Woke up early in the morning. It was still dark. And I heard a bear snarl. Froze in my sleeping bag. Bear snarled again.”

If you get home late again, I’m going to spank you. But If you get home early, I’ll spank you even harder.

Getting kissed deeply while he’s pulling our hair with one hand and grabbing our ass with the other.

The reality: The cute guy you thought you had a connection with ends up dropping all contact with you. He doesn’t tell you why. He just stops answering your messages, so you have to move on to the next guy who’s bound to do the same exact thing.

We might’ve had some minor setbacks and an existential crisis or two, but look at us now. We’re still alive. We’re still doing whatever we can to create a worthwhile future for ourselves.

Don’t bother to set your alarm. I’m going to wake you up with oral.

Date someone who pulls over the car and bangs you on the hood of it, because they got turned on by your out-of-pitch voice singing along to the radio.

“Everyone’s obsessed with Kylie Jenner lips, but I don’t get it. Big or small? Doesn’t matter to me. As long as they’re soft.”

Why should I be the one to put my heart on the line when you’re just as capable of picking up your phone and typing out a message?

Bear – You have a drawer filled with handcuffs, blindfolds, and ball gags. Of course, you have a soft side, too. Once sex is over, you’ll be eager to cuddle until the sun rises.

Compliment her hair or her eyebrows. She’ll appreciate it more than a raunchy comment about her ass.

That girl in his Instagram pictures could’ve been you. Should’ve been you. You’ll stare at her for as long as your damaged ego can take, trying to figure out why he thinks she’s more attractive than you.

I should be focused on my career, on my schooling, and on my friends, so I can reach the place I want in life. But I have trouble concentrating on my work, because you keep drifting in and out of my thoughts.

You’ll send me a happy birthday text and I won’t know whether to respond with a simple “thank you,” to talk about how much I miss you and want you back in my life, or to refuse to respond at all.

I need to do things right this time. That must be why time travel exists, why the hitchhiker showed up on my street and hopped into my car. To set things right.

If you kiss someone and see fireworks, tell them that it meant something to you.