Holly Riordan

He sends you good morning texts every single day, so you always have something nice to wake up to.

Resist the urge to call him out on social media or post mopey song lyrics about your breakup. Instead, post statuses about the epic concert you just went to or the new car you just bought. Your happiness will drive him nuts.

Have you ever heard of mirroring? It’s when he’ll scratch his head when you scratch your head and lick his lips when you lick your lips. It’s a definite sign that he’s interested.

Scorpio: When you’re drunk, you become self-destructive. Even though you know better, you’ll pick up your phone and text your ex about how much you miss them–or about what a complete and utter ass they are.

The Maze Runner: You want someone who can lift you over their shoulders with their thick muscles, but can also get all the answers right when you watch Jeopardy.

Head to an ice cream shop, but instead of loading up on soft serve, buy a milkshake and stick two straws in it.

Even though I knew the visions had no bearing on my real life, they still messed with my mind. Like bad dreams. When you know your boyfriend isn’t actually cheating on you, but you can’t push away the mental image of him bending your best friend over your bed and shoving his cock in her.

If we say something, we mean it, because we’ve had the argument with you twenty times in our head before it became a reality.

The first time you start referring to their pets as your children.

“That’s when I realize, a little dizzy, that the snake’s jaws are very very wide and there are two little legs sticking out of it. I think the legs were still twitching, struggling, alive.”

“Skinwalker Ranch is a ranch in Northeast Utah where in the 90s the owners reported weird phenomena like giant wolf-like creatures attacking their cattle and taking multiple rifle shots without flinching, then apparently vanishing into thin air, floating orbs of light, bigfoot-like creatures, and cattle mutilations.”

Get tickets for a concert, so you can hear the band play “your song” live.

In a few years, our roles will be reversed. I won’t even remember the eye color of the boy who broke my heart, and you’ll be wondering what happened to the girl that actually gave a shit about you.

Flirty: His compliments come more from his eyes than his lips. It doesn’t matter if he says something as subtle as, “You look nice today.” You know how much he means it by the slow way his eyes scan over your body before he speaks.

Share your french fries, even if you only ordered the small size.

She says, “I’m going to the bathroom.” But she really means, “Pause the television, but only if we’re watching one of my movies. If we’re watching a movie you picked, then just let it keep playing. I really don’t mind missing half of it.”

Do more of what you love. If you’re obsessed with a certain band, go to a concert and chat with strangers in the crowd. If you’re crazy about sports, go to a baseball game and talk to whoever ends up sitting next to you.

It proceeded to change size, shape, and color several more times right in front of me (doberman, bloodhound, tan mastiff, then finally a yellow lab) before running off into the dark.