1. We’ll buy you the best birthday gifts you’ve ever gotten. It doesn’t matter if we have to spend hours browsing through websites or drive miles to visit a specialty store. We’ll do whatever it takes to find the perfect present.
2. We won’t say anything that we regret during fights. We’re not the type to call you a selfish asshole, and then try to take it back an hour later. If we say something, we mean it, because we’ve had the argument with you twenty times in our head before it became a reality.
3. We always know when something’s wrong. We’ll notice the slight change in your eyes and your smile. So if we fuck up and make you upset, it won’t be long until you get an apology.
4. We’re prepared for any and every situation. If it starts raining during our picnic, we’ll have an umbrella stored in our bag. If you accidentally brush your fingers against some gum, we’ll have hand sanitizer for you to borrow.
5. Not to brag, but we come up with the most spectacular date ideas. You won’t be dragged to the movie theater every other week. No, sir. We’ll take you on fun adventures to go zip lining and snow tubing.
6. We’ll help you out of jams. If you get into an argument with your boss, all you have to do is give us the details and we’ll find a way to fix it. We’re always thinking, which is why we’ll probably be able to come up with a solution before you can.
7. We think way too much, which means guilt weighs heavily on our conscience whenever we do something bad. That means there’s no way we’d ever cheat on you or do you wrong. We wouldn’t be able to live with ourselves.
8. We never forget important events. In fact, we’ll start planning fun ideas for your birthday months before it actually happens. We like to think ahead.
9. We actually care about your opinion. If it seems like you aren’t enjoying the date we’re on, then we aren’t going to enjoy it either. So we’ll do our best to make sure you’re as happy as we are.
10. We’re pros when it comes to making plans for the future. If you’re going to spend forever with us, then you’re in luck, because we already have our entire wedding planned out.
11. We never make impromptu moves. We prefer to think things through, which is why we won’t end up coming home with a new puppy without talking it over with you first. We think before we act.
12. Our brains are always working at their full capacity. It’s why we’re so damn smart.
13. We think of things you never would’ve thought of yourself. If you have an interview the next day, we’ll remind you to iron your suit beforehand or to buy a new pair of shoes that go with your fancy clothes.
14. We like to look at situations in as many different ways as we can. So before we make a decision, we’re going to consider how it will impact you. We wouldn’t want to harm the person we love the most.
15. If we’re dating you, you know we’re serious about you. After all, there are so many fears that fly through our heads on a daily basis. But none of them involve you. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be with you.