Eric Redding

“Swans are pure devil spawn. They want to kill anything that moves near them. Sweet harmless baby ducks born on the pond? Initiate murder instinct. Man who feeds me and cleans my awful poop everyday? Start up the murder protocol.”

I once talked a dude I had never met out of suicide via a phone call. After what happened next, I regret it.

“Get called for an unconscious drunk at a bar. Get her out to the ambulance, she shouts ‘I’M HAVING A SEIZURE’ and starts waving her arms around. I tell her ‘people who have seizures generally don’t announce it first.’ Her response? ‘You’re being very judgmental, I was getting ready in case I had a seizure.'”

These are nightmare fuel.

“I got her a very pretty glass Christmas tree that had some candy in it. She gave me a book, a smut novel … that had her mom’s name written on the inside cover, but poorly scribbled out.”

“There were notes about me. What hours/days I worked, notes about my cats, and updated notes that they were no longer there and the date, my fucking credit card number!”

At the office after hours, alone. Phone rang, picked it up to a woman frantically screaming “You gotta help me!” *click*

“I ran outside following the dog barking and saw him dragging my mom by her hair, I remember trying to be steady like I had been taught but I just fired over and over again.”

There’s a groan and a laugh in every one.

I’m going to be frank, these are some of the most insane stories I have ever heard in my entire life. They are crazier and, in a very few cases, sadder than anything you could make up. They are also utterly fascinating.

“On 12/30 at 2:04 am I caught something VERY weird. To set up: This night I was sleeping in my bed – my 3 year old was with me that night as he is scared of the dark. It was just the two of us in the whole house. The next night I decided to go through and delete my recordings and saw this particular record.”

Every person has that one story that they can’t forget, that shook them to the core, that one event that will forever stick out in their mind and never, ever go away.