“If you spot a little girl roaming the hallways or outside the building, take note of her appearance. Check for an unusual amount of canine teeth. The Pest has hundreds of teeth.”
“People say euthanizing is illegal for humans in the U.S. but as a nurse…I have killed people.”
This is serious SMDH territory.
Get in here and relive your childhood trauma!
“Bud Light is a pair of cargo shorts in alcoholic form.”
If you want to go from being a nice guy to being a good guy, you have to push past this idea that “getting the girl” will solve everything.
A roommate I had in college was a strange guy. This guy came from the other side of the country (I’m US). He went out at all hours of the night, never showed up for class, slept during the day, and drank more energy drinks than is healthy. His parents were worried about him, apparently, and hired a PI to trail him.
There are some things even eye bleach can’t fix.
Your own dating life is about to look a whole lot better.
“They’re ancient people. They’re ah…they’re dying, it’s past their time or age. They’re looking for ah…a way to survive and they just can’t.”