23. “I Thought You Were In The Shower”
I used to sleep at my cousin’s house all the time. I was raised by my mother and she’s a nurse, so I spent many nights there.
One night when I was 12 I was at his house. It was just us and his three younger siblings. When I stayed there I crashed in his room. So, around 9 pm I say I’m going in the shower. His shower used to take a long time for the water to become hot, so I turned the water on and went into the living room with my towel on and watched “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” for about 10 minutes. Then I hear a bunch of shit falling in my cousin’s room, so I walk towards it.
I open the door and there’s my cousin, completely naked with a dish towel wrapped around his erect dick, and he’s knocking everything down in the room with his dick. I’m talking sports figurines, a lot of books, VHS tapes, video games, basically anything you could think of that would be in a 13-year-old’s room. So I say “what the fuck cuz” he just looked at me calmly and said, “I thought you were in the shower, I was going to clean it up, I always do”
Never mentioned it again.
24. Naughty Until The Very End
Do you know there are people in their mid-80’s still having hot, sweaty, hair pulling, ass spanking, dirty-talking sex?
I know there are. I accidentally walked through a room where my 80+year-old friend was banging his 80+year-old girlfriend. They didn’t know I was there and it took a full minute to get out of the room. Apparently, an 80-year-old woman can still be a “naughty girl who needs a good, hard fucking.”
You go, my man Howard!
25. Unsurprising Somehow
Years ago I was sharing a room with my homophobic brother, he is one of those guys that consider himself the alpha male but is mostly just talk. I came early from work and I found him using a dildo in his ass….to this day I can’t look at any penis shape thing without having flashbacks.