16. The Resident Assistant Does His Rounds
I used to be a Resident Assistant. I was doing room inspections with my partner RA. I had given all my residents over a week notice, taped a letter to their door alerting them that I would be coming around. Everything was going fine until we got to room 312. I still remember the room number to this day.
We knocked on the door 3 times with no answer. I announced that I was keying into the dorm. We get inside, everything’s normal. I go to the individual bedrooms and knock 3 times again. As soon as I announce I’m keying in, my resident opens the door in just gym shorts.
“Hey what’s up?”
“Just doing our scheduled room checks.”
“Oh, ok. Come on in.” Without even hesitating or giving me a warning on what I was about to walk into.
As he opens the door I see a naked man dart across the room and into the bathroom. I didn’t know he was gay, so that was surprising. But then as I walk into the room and look to my left I see a tiny Asian man was standing in the corner with a laptop in front of him. He was only wearing a cheetah print thong. I quickly avert my eyes and look to my right and I see a camera on a tripod.
I dart out of there immediately yelling “you passed, have a nice day.” They could’ve had kilos of coke in the corner I wouldn’t have cared.
17. Cocaine Is A Hell Of A Drug
I was 12, at a sleepover with a good friend of mine. It was around mid-afternoon. I was getting myself some water when I come back to see my friend getting lectured about how messy his room was (it was immaculate) and how he should take responsibility for things (he did). His dad is pulling up carpet fuzz and yelling at him for it. My friend is crying. I kinda pretended that I didn’t walk in on that, and hung out in the kitchen reading cereal box ingredients.
As soon as the dad walks out, his girlfriend comes in through the door in tears. She had totaled her Corvette running a red light, and now the boyfriend was hysterical, yelling at her, and us. They go to their room and there’s this banging and fighting noise. Then everything was normal.
Took me fucking forever to realize they were addicted to cocaine.
18. Heroic Girlfriend
We’d gotten our friend a bit too drunk for this birthday. Walked in on his girlfriend cleaning him up after he had apparently shit himself. Amazing woman was trying to keep it a secret so as not to have him embarrassed.
Called him the next day and instructed him to marry her. They’ve a son in college now.