10. Communication is key
Walked into my girlfriend’s place unannounced, found a guy balls deep in her ass in the living room. That was the day she went from girlfriend to ex real fast. If she wanted anal she could have just asked.
11. Sketch Has No Limits
A “walking in” story from a party I was at when we were all about 17-18. A couple of hours in, everyone had turned up except one of the birthday girl’s best friends. She eventually calls and says she’s out at a club and can she bring the guy she’s met – whose name is apparently “Sketch”.
Half an hour later they turn up, pretty drunk. After about 15 mins, we realise they have vanished upstairs. Birthday girl doesn’t really want them fooling around in her bedroom but no one wants to walk in on them either. So we send the drunkest guy up to call them down.
He toddles off upstairs and then about a minute later comes back into the living room looking pale and distraught. He sits down. We ask what happened.
“I went up and opened the door… and he was going down on her… and then he looked over at me… and I think he was a vampire! There was blood all over his mouth. So I left.”
Turned out they’d started fooling around, it became clear it was her time of the month but “Sketch” decided to power on through. We’d accidentally sent up the one person who, in a drunken haze, was not mentally equipped to deal with this at all. He looked broken for the rest of the night.
12. “You Do You, Man”
So this happened last semester. But I got home around 11/1130pm and no one was home, I’m like alright whatever. I go to my room, throw my stuff down and grab my water bottle, I walk into the kitchen to fill it (where the front door is – small 3 bdrm apartment through the school) and in walks this girl and I’m like wtf is this girl doing in my house. We make eye contact. I realize it’s my roommate in full drag. Fake boobs, wig, high heels, all of it. All he says is “I can explain…” Already having seen a lot of this kid’s oddities, I just say “Don’t bother, you do you, man.” And I just went to fill up my bottle and continued to play civ or something the rest of the night. He now occasionally just chills in drag and talks makeup and clothes with my other roommate’s girlfriend. I’m writing this sitting next to his 7ft unicycle propped against the wall. It’s been an interesting year to say the least.