Christopher Hudspeth

“You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long. They’ve got too much on you. “

Complaining that a dead movie star isn’t worthy of a massive response from fans and comparing it to the death of a starving child or a soldier is beyond pointless.

You have a sneaking suspicion that one of the biggest reasons they’re still dating you is because they aren’t ready to part ways with your pet.

1. Mystery shoppers give retail workers trust issues for life.

He is not texting back. Do you think he is waiting for something or busy or what?!

Her name was Marie. That’s all I knew at first.

You have cynical jokes and snarky remarks that it’s killing you inside to hold off on saying, but you must wait until you have a better feel for whom you can get away with saying what to.

2. My phone is probably broken or service is messed up and that’s why I haven’t heard from anybody in a while.

You want to have your cake and eat it too.

7. You can do tricks with your face.

When it comes to letting someone know you’re annoyed with an expressionless face, you’re all naturally magical Meryl Streeps.

9. To some degree worriers are warriors, battling & staving off their constant flow of unpleasant thoughts and concerns as they try to manage a somewhat normal day.

3. That can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of love.

The distinct differences between the texts you get from a person who wants to date you and a person who strictly wants to have sex with you.

Some eat to live, but those of us living to eat will take great pleasure in this compilation of things that are terrible and perfect for our heart all at the same time.

Then, it begins. She goes in her room and slips into something more comfortable. She’s probably already forgotten her boyfriend’s name because she’s too consumed by the thrill and anticipation of the immoral pleasure she’s about to indulge in.

More often than concert tickets or videogames, you enthusiastically purchase boring, cliché adult stuff like a toaster or a shower rod or Tums or light bulbs.

3. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Hence why seasonal drinks, specifically pumpkin spice and peppermint mocha, are so highly praised when they make their annual appearance.