10. Courthouse.
I’ve been dying to tell this story but my mom would kill me if I told anyone irl. It wasn’t me, but her.
We were on our way back from the courthouse one day and stop at the Subway on the corner there, before catch the metro train back to our cars. After we ate, we did our business in the restrooms and headed to the train station. We picked it up where it dumps into the city and were riding it all the way back to the end. It’s about a 30-45 minute ride with all the stops. Anyway, about five minutes in, my mom is complaining about her stomach being upset. It grows worse the further we go, to the point where I’m googling the nearest bathrooms from each stop. Finally, about 3/4s of the way, she just can’t hold it any longer. Fortunately there’s only like two other people in the train car when she let’s loose, and it’s awfully quiet of a poop. Immediately, the smell washes over me to the point where I nearly gag. Being the good son I am, I announce loudly, for the others to hear, “WOOOOOOO BOY THAT REEKS. I just busted serious ass, sorry mom.”
We finish the ride and as we get off, I take my button down shirt off and offer it to her to tie around her waist in an effort to hide the massive shit stain on her white pants. We get into he parking garage and back to our cars. Fortunately, I didn’t have a washer/dryer at my house and had just done laundry, so I give her a pair of my shorts and she ducks behind my open door and does her best to clean off, leaving behind a big ole mess.
Best part? I used that metro a few weeks later, they’d installed port a pots on every floor. Checkmate, MTA.
Ninja edit: the reason I mentioned subway was because she was adamant she’d gotten food poisoning. Called the health department and that subway was eventually shut down for violating codes or some shit.
