1. Stitches.
People seem to like stories about me humiliating myself, so here is this one again:
Once ate some funky mexican and had the ability to fart on command for like two days. My sister was in the kitchen and I thought it would be funny to run in and do one of those “Jump and click heels” maneuvers, but spice up the gumbo by letting a fart go at the moment of clicking.
Well, the up-jump went well, the heel clicking succeeded, and then I just straight up shit my pants. The shock of crapping myself sort of threw off my mojo and I fell without catching myself properly.
This resulted in me hitting my head on the counter and three stitches. Awkward scar to explain to people.tl;dr I shit myself so hard I had to get stitches.
2. Thong.
Was shopping with my sister. She had a skirt and a thong on. She though she could sneak one out….. ended up dripping poop throughout the department store.
I reiterate, never trust a fart.
