These 34 Chris Traeger-isms Are Literally The Greatest Quotes Of All Time

“I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I’ve already broken that promise five times. But I will not break it a sixth.”
“I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I’ve already broken that promise five times. But I will not break it a sixth.”
1. There are no safe investments, but we invest anyway. Because heartbreak is transient but regret is eternal.” – Donna Schute Provencher, The Risky Business Of Love
Under no circumstances should you let them spoon you. When it comes to feelings spooning is basically asking for it.
It has been so long since you last had sex that neither of you are really willing to bring up the subject because you both know the discussion is going to be extremely embarrassing and awkward.
It is hard to pick out scenes for this story. How to discern what’s important. How do you compartmentalize the brittle histories between two people?
You have to learn to be happy. Happiness is not something you can buy or earn, it is something you are and have; it is a state of mind.
I read these at night and I could not go back to sleep. I heard creaks and shuffling in my room — I’m not sure if it was my imagination.
It’s not like I want to marry or date you. I just want to kiss you. There’s something about our dynamic that intrigues me and I don’t think I’ll figure it out until we kiss.
Everyone knows peer pressure and drugs make it cool to be gay now. Haven’t you seen Glee and other ways the mass media glorify homosexuality?
If you are going bald, and are past the point of creating a reasonable facsimile of hair with a few good products and swishes of the comb, you just have to run with it.
“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.” — Frank Zappa.
Twenty-two is basically the only age you can use as leverage. Meaning that because it’s the exact age between life-as-you-know-it and what will later be known as ‘real life’ (that’s scientifically proven, of course), people expect you to make some mistakes.