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DO YOU CONSTANTLY FIND YOURSELF DELETING THINGS THAT NOBODY “LIKED” OR “RETWEETED” OR “FAVORITED” BECAUSE YOU FEEL LAME AND STUPID?

You know that a mumbler or inaudibly soft-spoken person is ~almost~ worse than a rude person.

Bald people are superheroes.

The more you know about him, the more likely he is to come and find you.

You have a “Coexist” bumper sticker….on your bike.

5. “Captain Phillips.”

Because it really is the flower headband that draws you in first, don’t you think? That, or the twinkle in their gold Tory Burch pendant.

Even if things are as bad as they could possible be, and as meaningless, then matters of truth are themselves indifferent; we may as well please our sensibilities and, with as much spirit as we can muster, go out with a buck and a wing.

6. Saying it wrong: “Suppository of information.” Doing it right: “Repository of information”

Here comes the kick: “It’s not you, it’s me”.

Recover from your disappointment with the ‘Dexter’ finale by rebounding with something new. You need that in your life.

Go to a free event. There is so much free stuff to do in the summer. Winter = we’re annoyed that it’s cold out so we’re going to charge for everything. Summer = OMG, we’re so laidback! Come hang at our cool event for free!

You walk into the recruiter office and eyeball those posters of soldiers with stern faces of quiet dignity and confidence, you lack both.